Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Ouch!

This old Clarion-Ledger story shows how Lamar Adams used the money of those he conned.




100 comments:

Getchur Own Damned Blog.. said...

As if three threads on Lamar were not enough, we now have a fourth. The last one has comments turned off and we were told to comment on the other two. Now we have a third on which to comment. Who manages this madness?

Anonymous said...

I'm sure he used some of it to pay off the $1 million home in Bridgewater his son bought from Mike Espy.

Anonymous said...

Re-posting pictures of an innocent grandson. Real nice.

Anonymous said...

Who manages this madness?

You don't and thank God you don't.

But you complain and complain and never find the stones to step up, start your own gig and actually COMPETE with Kingfish in the open market.

Go away piss ant.

Anonymous said...

@11:17
Maybe Lamar should have considered what his Ponzi ripoff was going to do to his entire family.

Anonymous said...

Dang, looks like the only ball game he's gonna be watching from now on is Guards vs. Prisoners.

Anonymous said...

This CL "article" was on page 2 of Lamar's Google search results. Not like it's a state secret or anything. Chill out @11:17.

Anonymous said...

When you have a open wallet to OPM...Other People's Money....like he did..
it's simple amazing all the things you can accomplish!

Anonymous said...

I whole heartedly agree with 11:17. This kid had nothing to do with the situation he now finds himself in. You got this one wrong Kingfish.

Anonymous said...

So is "Vivie" gonna keep living large in the JCC and taking her grandkids on lavish trips once her lying, cheating, criminal husband goes to prison? Is she going to go on TV and cry like Ken Lay's wife?

Maybe she should ask those friends and neighbors he ripped off for help.

Dirty money said...

Same is true of the sales reps... condos in Malibu, Mercedes, beach condos, facelifts etc...all with dirty money

Anonymous said...

@May 2, 2018 at 11:37 AM

Damn straight! It appears that he has five grandsons and he pulled his slimy criminal crap with NO REGARD for those boys. So hang the blame on the one who deserves it - the nine figure con artist who gets to sit around his JCC home for the foreseeable future.

He's screwed over a ton of people who trusted him, including five pre-teen boys who have to deal with this. No sympathy for this lying, cheating sack of shit at all!

Anonymous said...

I am sure Lamar and Vickie Lynn were happy to have their ole buddy Billy put them in the paper and “use” their grandson to show off and play Grandparents of the Year. This one has come back to bite them, I am sure there will many, many more with these two. Lamar can’t possibly GET what he deserves, not enough shame, scorn or stories. He finally got caught at something he can’t get out of.

Anonymous said...

Appears this guy was a bird trapped in a gilded cage. He created his own prison a long time ago with his lavish lifestyle, family dependent on his funding, and he had a wolf by the ears. Sad for those who invested, sad for his family, and sad that we're all talking about a guy and this is the last thing we'll remember about him. Graft, corruption, ponzi schemes, etc. Didn't know him but sometimes in life -- simple is best -- in life choices, and in life practices.

Anonymous said...

12:07

Ditto

Anonymous said...

These children and their parents have enough to deal with than you ridiculous people continuing to throw mud there way. You idiots need to get a life and find Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Come on, Kingfish, leave the grandkids out of this.

Anonymous said...

There is no need to post ANYTHING containing members of his family. I don't know the man but this is wrong. We all know whats right and wrong, shame on you KF

Anonymous said...

PSA: It’s “CCJ” not “JCC.” Le

Anonymous said...

Oh please. His wife and kids are just as much f corrupt liars as he is. I feel sorry for his grandkids, but lamars children and wife are no better people than Lamar.

Anonymous said...

I've seen several people use "JCC" as an abbreviation for the country club, but we prefer "CCJ". Just wanted to clear that up.

Filler up said...

@11:54: the recruiterdidnt have a facelift. The surgeon in Dallas plumped him with excessive amounts of fillers

Anonymous said...

Love how some of you all pick and chose your ethics. One family is off limits but not another.

Anonymous said...

@12:56 come on now. Adults are fair game and can handle criticism. This is not that kids fault. He doesn't deserve to be brought into this as a beneficiary of funds. That honor should go to his grandfather.

Anonymous said...

There is absolutely no good reason for posting this kid's photo and publicizing his identity and relationship to grandfather. There is no reason to believe he did anything wrong and, regardless of how you feel about his grandfather, he shouldn't be "shamed" for his grandfather's crimes. I know many of you have little empathy, but just imagine how he is likely feeling now. I know he's not a victim of the ponzi scheme, but I'm sure this is all very painful and traumatic nonetheless. I'm sure knowing his name, picture and relationship to grandfather are being publicized right now doesn't help.

Remember, just because you CAN post something here doesn't always mean you SHOULD. Show some decency. Take it down. No need to drag an innocent kid into this.

Richard Gozinya II said...

I must have missed something. Was he convicted already?

Anonymous said...

If this man had invested in timber futures 5 years ago (hedge his bogus position), he would have profited from timbers growth of 75%. And, as commodity traders know, after leveraging his position (which is what commodity traders do) his return would have been almost astronomically higher. This hedge would have made his investors a lot of $ and possibly made him RICH. Poor planning from a neophyte investor.

Anonymous said...

246,000 kids in poverty is the bigger problem.
34% in MS. vs. 22% National Average. So sad. I had a wonderful childhood, however, I was from a low middle class background. But, it was nice seeing a picture of the Timber Perp. I wonder if the feds will put him in the same prison as Bernard John "Bernie" Ebbers?
OH, I must remember "Innocent until proven Guilty of his peers" Now, were will the court find 12 ponsie scheme crook to try him???

Anonymous said...

@2:20 he said in his initial appearance that he doesn't have a college degree. Probably thinks a hedge is the bush around the country club.

Anonymous said...

Garage and Repo Sale upcoming at 134 St. Andrews Dr. @ " CCJ". Also one share of "CCJ" stock for sale at a very reduced price....golf cart included!

Anonymous said...

I'm actually going to go out & buy a Clarion Ledger. The electronic version is to small to read.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure knowing his name, picture and relationship to grandfather are being publicized right now doesn't help.

So you are saying the grandson reads JJ?

Anonymous said...

Let's see...the financial institution handling this gentleman's transaction should open an account to pay off the investors. All they have to do is hit a few keystrokes and credit the account $100M...then they only borrow $10M overnight from the Federal Reserve Corporation at zero percent. Of course, this fraud (banks creating new "money" from thin air) is legal.

Anonymous said...

Hey @2:10, have you contacted the Clarion-Ledger and asked them to remove that edition from their digital archive?

Anonymous said...

I feel the same that he should be left out this mess, but it got me thinking If this was a black child whose black father was arrested would we be so upset about posting his picture. I believe not but I could be wrong.

Anonymous said...

@2:20, you may know other commodities, but you don’t appear to know much about pulpwood or sawtimber markets for pine or hardwoods. Or timber pricing trends for the past twenty years, for that matter. There has been a glut of both on the market for over a decade, for a number of reasons. Prices have been lower or stagnant for years now. Here’s a piece of advise for anyone that wants to purchase timberland investments. Hire a registered forester with the credentials to actually help you make wise decisions. There is a profit margin to be expected; but, 12-15% annually or even periodically is not realistic in our current economy. Don’t trust any one that “knows” the timber business with out being an SAF recognized, MS registered forester and/or a member of the association of consulting foresters. Foresters from the larger mill companies are also generally trustworthy. “Good time Johnny” in a flashy truck and sharp dress attire does not equate to knowing anything about forest product markets. My two cents as a registered forester in multiple states. People like Adams give our industry a terrible name.

Anonymous said...

I see where you're coming from by posting and agree this scumbag needs shaming, but not at the expense an innocent child. Surely you can find other stuff out there to roast Adams with. He's a thirteen year old boy for crying out loud. Please, take it down.

Anonymous said...

"So you are saying the grandson reads JJ?"

Not that it matters, but that's not what I said. I said: "I'm sure knowing his name, picture and relationship to grandfather are being publicized right now doesn't help."

Regardless of whether he read or heard about JJ before now, I'm sure he's been made aware of it and has now. 13 year olds are pretty good with computers these days.

So, what was your point?



Wow said...

What a disgusting family.

Justice will prevail, in this life or the next.

Anonymous said...

"Hey @2:10, have you contacted the Clarion-Ledger and asked them to remove that edition from their digital archive?"

It is not the existence of the original article that is the issue. It's the re-publication of the article tied to and in the negative light of the Lamar Adams ponzie scheme story that's the problem.

Anonymous said...

Posting a picture and name of an innocent child in a forum where he (and all) can read anonymous comments below his picture attacking his parents and grandparents is adding such additional pain. At 13, they are all over the internet, unfortunately. Why cause pain to a child for a story that isn’t necessary at all on this blog? It’s not worth the damage it could cause. Please - do the right thing and take this down.

Anonymous said...

I'm in agreement with many other posters that this thread is in poor taste. There was zero need to post this and tie it to the current deal with the grandfather. A line of common decency was crossed.

Anonymous said...

sins of the father....or in this case grandfather....do you people care about all of the grandkids this scumbag has caused pain to or just his?

Anonymous said...

Gross post. Why would we need to see pics of his grandkids? As a regular visitor I think you should take it down.

Anonymous said...

Can someone explain to me how he is 58 years old? He has at least one child who is very, very close to forty. So he had a child when he was 18? Not uncommon in Mississippi, but as common in the CCJ crowd. Or is their a mistake about his age? Orrrrrrr?????

Anonymous said...

If he didn't want his family publicly shamed maybe he should have not allegedly committed criminal acts.

Anonymous said...

Feel free trolls to move on and not read anything here. Then you won't be offended.

Anonymous said...

How many years will Lamar Adams be in prison? Any guesses?

Anonymous said...

"If he didn't want his family publicly shamed maybe he should have not allegedly committed criminal acts."

"Feel free trolls to move on and not read anything here. Then you won't be offended."

This isn't about him. This isn't about anyone here being offended. This is about an innocent 13 year old boy.

Is it really so difficult to understand?

MadisonRulz said...

This is why I only play golf at Madison Country Club.

Anonymous said...


Is it really so difficult to understand that others disagree with you?

Is it really so difficult to understand that you don't call the shots?

Anonymous said...

@5:35 whines like Wyatt Emmerich.

Anonymous said...

I understand "The Land Man" had a few of Lamars land tracts for sale a few years ago.

Anonymous said...

29 years ago I had just moved to Jackson and was invited to play golf at Deerfield. The group included Lamar Adams whom I had never met. He told a story of renting a car that morning , driving it home and swapping the new tires it had for his worn our ones and then returning the rental. He was very proud of his ingenuity. On the 4th hole he pretended to find a ball that he had obviously hit into a hazard and when confronted about it got very defensive. The game broke up after 9 holes and I was left thinking Jackson was an odd place and that I might want to steer clear of Mr Adams. I was amazed when I learned of his success in the timber business but always avoided investing with him because of that early experience. Turns out that 5 dollar golf game may have saved me a good bit more.

Anonymous said...

5:54 and 5:55, explain then why you believe it is necessary and appropriate to shame an innocent 13 year old? And don't say it's his grandfather's fault. That's no damn excuse for subjecting a kid to this BS.

This ain't about opinion. There's no doubt this has caused an innocent kid unnecessary pain and heartache. And it ain't about "calling the shots." It's about doing what's right. You two jerks clearly have no clue.

Anonymous said...

4:53. You are a genius

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for that kid, but unfortunately naive to think that if he wasn’t included in this one story he would be spared the humiliation that his grandfather’s actions will cause him. I also feel for the dozens (or more) of also innocent kids whose lives are about to be turned upside down by the financial devastation —and possibly complete ruin— of their family’s financial security.

And it is news. Many horrific events have been presented for all to see or read, even when the images could be very upsetting to the families of the victims— often on a scale far worse than this. 911 comes to mind. It’s KFs decision if censoring this detracts enough from the story that it’s worth the pain to others. But he will be judged for his decision.

I do wonder if any of Lamar’s victims would want to suppress those images.

Anonymous said...

So many of u r posting as if this guy has already been prosecuted as guilty. Obviously y’all have not stayed current with the state of our judiciary. Ever heard of Hillary Clinton & the entire upper echelon of the Justice(?) Department/FBI? This is a corrupt society where crime pays. The more heinous the crime, the less likely the conviction. If this guy is a Democrat, u can forget it.

Anonymous said...

@ 6:10 Un-freakin-believable! Glad you avoided a big loss!

Anonymous said...

Are you elitists actually arguing over whether you live in CCJ or JCC? What snooty assholes.

Myself? I live in The Bluff of The Roses.

Anonymous said...

I think the crook should be drawn and quartered. Apparently, his grandkids go to school with my children. I say apparently, because I have no idea who they are, but I’ve seen JA mentioned. We don’t run in the rarefied circles that this family does, nor do we want to. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. I am proud to say, however, that our modest wealth has been built without deceiving anyone or stealing. The grandfather deserves to rot, obviously. If I knew who the daughter and son in law were, I’d offer an opinion, but I don’t. The grandkids... I feel sorry for. Not as sorry as I feel for the victims, their kids and grandkids, but still.

Anonymous said...

5 dollar golf game at 6:10? HA! Your story would be more believable of you had said $5 per hole.

Anonymous said...

Lamar is a crook and you can bet his wife is guilty too...l that’s who he is protecting. Lock em all up. His son and other family members.

Anonymous said...

@6:39 he is going to plead guilty ....

All that Infowars and Fox News has rotted your brain buddy.

Anonymous said...

How do his 2 thirty something year old children afford to live in million dollar homes? I’m sure they didn’t purchase those homes themselves!

Anonymous said...

6:39 his attorney said he would plead guilty.

Thurston Howell III said...

Yasss, you plebeians need to say it how WE, your betters, prefer it to be said. If you say JCC, well then you just prove yourself to be a commoner who doesn't understand the finer things in life, like caviar and Yeti coolers.

Those of us who have money...lots of money, especially in timber futures...and live behind the gates demand that you call it CCJ. If you don't we shall sneer at you whilst planning our next trip to the MLB All Star game on money we deservedly took from other people...people we are so much better than.

Chauncey! Please throw another stack of hundreds on the fire. It's a tad chilly in this cavernous living room near the CCJ.

Anonymous said...

6:39 - it’s obvious to everyone (except you) that Lamar Adams has a deal in the works so all that crap about him not being guilty? Save your breath.

Anonymous said...

When you seek out attention about what a "fabulous life" you lead, it may come back and bite you if you are living off ill gotten gains. I see both sides, but did no one in his family question their sudden affluence?

I feel much worse for the families that have not and will not take glam trips that are newsworthy because a thief took what they had. There are people who worked hard for their money and now have lost it due to a shyster. It's complicated. I get that. But showing no sympathy to those who were robbed/deceived is just wrong.

For those of you complaining he has not been convicted, have you not read his attorney's statements that he is already pleading guilty? He has the luxury of hanging out at home til it's in court, but he has admitted guilty. No one is making assumptions at this point, as he has confirmed his role. Hello?

Anonymous said...

I am asking a hypothetical question. Suppose I invested $100,000.00 five years ago. I red'd $10,000.00 a month for a year. It was such a good investment, that I did it again and again. Now that this has been exposed as a fraudulent Ponzi scheme, how much am I liable for and how much will I have to pay back?

Anonymous said...

I've known the Adams family for 25+ years. Not by choice, but they were my neighbors at one point, and continued acquaintance through a few charity fund fallraisers. I do not feel sorry for Lamar, Vicky Lynn, their kids, or their investors. The entire family is crooked. And anyone that would do business with them is just a plain ole dumbass. So I don't feel sorry for the investors either. I do feel sorry for the grandkids, but they likely would have turned out to be just like the rest of the family. Maybe a wake up call is good for them.

Anonymous said...

8:44,8:46, 8:54. 6:39 here. I rarely if ever watch the local news nor the national news for that matter. It is my understanding that this guy, I don’t know/of him, did or was gonna plead guilty. I suspect there r many more involved. We have a very unfair or dual legal system. I seriously doubt the victims get justice.

Reed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Did nobody notice the utter irony of how the CL juxtaposed an article about 250,000 kids in poverty with a story about a wealthy family taking a 10-year-old boy to Cincinnati to the MLB All Star game?

Let them eat cake.

Anonymous said...

I don’t know the rest of the family but I do know his daughter. Say what you will about him but his daughter is one of the most genuine, kind, down to earth people I’ve ever known. Yes, she is at all the charity galas and events, and you’ll find her pic in northside sun, vip, etc. but what people don’t see in those magazines is the actual time and effort she’s put in to make these events happen. She’s a worker bee who will do whatever it takes to get these events up and running. She puts in a whole lot more work than just showing up for the party. I’ve never gotten the impression that she’s doing charity work for the wrong reasons. She’s one of the handful in that whole junior league crowd that I would say actually does care more about the actual charity work than the parties. Again, I don’t know any of the rest of them but she’s not anything like what people are saying about her in these comments.

Anonymous said...


I’ve known the Adams since around 1994. I actually played football with his son Drake. What no one could figure out even then was how Lamar actually made a living. I vividly remember a friend of mines father making the comment that he had never actually heard or seen Lamar doing ANYTHING even remotely close to running a day to day Timber operation. I was young at the time but I do remember the conversation and also remember the rumors even back then that he was crooked.
One thing that struck me about their entire family is that if you didn’t have what they constituted as “money” then you were treated as someone beneath them. Not worthy of their presence so to speak. So while I feel bad for all those investors, I also laughed my ass off when I found out just how fake Lamar really is. His son ,Drake, wasn’t the nicest fellow either

Anonymous said...

5:04, if you’ll look at the author of the article you’ll understand a little bit better. Billy Watkins was to Lamar Adams what Joseph Goebels was to Adolf Hitler. There’s no telling how many articles Billy wrote praising the Adams. Billy and Lamar coached their sons football team together at MRA when they were in 4th and 5th grade and have a LONG HISTORY.
I mean just look at that particular article. It’s the dumbest crap I’ve ever read .... but there it is.

Anonymous said...

@6:10, I think you hit the nail on the head regarding their affinity to only associate with the haves and not the have nots. I have known all of them for a long, long time. I will save my sympathy for the victims of the fraud. His wife , adult children and most likely his son in law and daughter in law have benefited from his deception and I think what happens next will show their true colors. Will they give back what isn’t rightfully theirs?

Anonymous said...

May 2, 2018 at 6:10 PM . What a story. I once knew a fellow who bragged about how he would show up at motels passing himself off as a guest so he could eat the complimentary breakfast. How do people like this live with themselves?

Even my own father would rather tell a lie when the truth would have worked just as well. My Dad actually did a stint at Club Fed.

Anonymous said...

Give back? Will they be forced to disgorge is the salient question.

Anonymous said...

Yet ANOTHER major white collar crime that SuperAG Hood somehow didn't ferret out and prosecute. Damn, how many is that now? Yes, by all means, let's make the man Governor because he's knocking the ball out of the park busting the dogcatchers in tiny towns up and down Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

This guy is a dirtbag but his grandson is innocent. If you can’t make that distinction and see why this post is wrong and unnecessary
then you probably have more in common with Lamar Adams than you’d care to admit.

Anonymous said...

GTHOM!

Anonymous said...

Holy shit, people! This is not an attack on his grandson! This is an article of PUBLIC RECORD that shows how Lamar and his wife were spending lavishly with what we now know were ill gotten gains. That the grandson was involved is ancillary at best.

It's a safe assumption that this couple spent plenty of other people's money on their family including the grandkids. That those children didn't know or weren't complicit does not turn a discussion of malfeasance and misappropriation of funds into a taboo subject simply because they were unwitting players.

Lamar is the one who tainted his family when he ripped people off and used that money to set himself, his wife, and his extended family up in some of the metro area's fanciest neighborhoods. The blame lies with him, not Kingfish or JJ commenters.

This is news. Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

Agreed with 8:29. This post was not any kind of substantial news, and using this kind of format to harm a child is unacceptable. I believe there are more out there reading and knowing in your heart this is NOT right. Kids have enough to deal with just growing up in the online world without an adult taking advantage of an already painful situation. This could have easily been taken down, but it has not. Speak out.

Anonymous said...

@756am - don't forget Hood's callin' down the thunder on... Internet wine clubs. Corruption and white collar crime receive a blind eye

Kingfish said...

I blacked out the child's face. However, this is a legit news article that is easily found online and published by the Clarion-Ledger. There was no digging into Facebook, Instagram, or anywhere where there was an expectation of privacy.

I added the second page of the story to the post and that contains some nice passages that will surely thrill the victims of this con man.

I will probably take down the post tonight or in the morning. It's newsworthy because it shows what this man was doing publicly with stolen money.

Anonymous said...

@May 3, 2018 at 6:59 AM. I think when the Feds get done with them , they will be lucky to have a pot to piss in.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of snowflakes, #triggered by the posting of a news article that could be easily found with a 3 second Google search, if only you olds were capable of doing such. Go back to your Fox News, complaining about millennials, and asking other people to rotate your PDFs.

Anonymous said...

May 2 @ 5:55: NOBODY whines (or brags, or name-drops, or bloviates)like Wyatt Emmerich. But won’t he be excited that his name was mentioned here!

A. Puking Paul Harvey said...

"And now you know the rest of the story."

Anonymous said...

They got you know Kingfish.

Anonymous said...

@8:42, AMEN! I literally did a 10 second google search 2 days ago and the CL article came up. For those out there blaming KF for exposing one of Adams’ grandkids, your anger/disappointment is misdirected. Allowing your family’s activities to be broadcast in a number of local & statewide publication(s) while defrauding investors is the reason there is interest in a legitimate news story. Wanna blame someone??? Try Lamar Adams.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish,

I commend you if you do indeed remove the post. There is no justification and it's not relevant nor newsworthy. It's petty and tactless and unfortunately it's the sort thing of the "the masses" want. Even the major news organizations succumb to this sort of thing.

Just because the information is out there doesn't make it the right thing to address it in this manner. Many feel it's justified because the shame it creates for the perpetrator, but it's just an unfortunate product of this modern social society that is just plain ugly.

No worries, you don't have to post this and you obviously don't have to heed it. Just another anonymous opinion.

Anonymous said...

KF, I condemn you if you take the post down - so put me in the opposite category from 10:51.

This story is relevant - not because of the kid, but because of the story being told. It is all about how "Granddaddy" was able to give his grandkids something really special - something most kids don't get to enjoy. But because Granddaddy had money he could treat the young lad to a special treat that he really got to enjoy.

Other kids get to go to nice events, every now and then. Go see the Cubs in Wrigley; go to Hotlanta to watch the Braves. But most don't get this kind of deal, but this one did because his genes came down the tree from a true SOB thieving crook.

Do you think the kid enjoyed the trip? Do you think the kid enjoyed the news article, and all the envy from his classmates who don't get to do this kind of thing? Absolutely. Now that the kid learns that he got this wonderful deal because granddaddy stole millions and screwed many of his friend's families out of their chance to even go to Hotlanta - since their investment money is now gone.

The article - while focused on the kid - was about what a wonderful guy Lamar was to spend his "hard earned" cash on such a nice dream of his grandkids. If Billy had wanted to write the article about the kid and the trip - Lamar could have been left out of the story. But, no! He was the finale of the story - explaining why this article made the newspaper - and now the archives.

Anonymous said...

"Lamar said only one thing: 'If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right.'"

If that isn't the most ironic statement in this whole sh*tshow, I don't know what is.

Anonymous said...

rubberneckers wanting watch a trainwreck

Dalai Lama said...

If you don't want others to see you burn, don't set yourself on fire.

Anonymous said...

Ask Lamar abouse his home being shot up years ago for ripping people off... and he continued to do it. Yep he is one dumb ass! The whole family are crooks..and that damn wife helped him with his scams from his home office at his house! Bust em all!

Anonymous said...

Lamar Adams is a wanna be mafia boss , lol stupid fuck got what they usually end up with too, prison time and broke. Lamar will probably lose that pretty wife to a real Man now :)



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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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