Saturday, September 30, 2017

Jackassery alert

It's South Park, so expect the worst, and yes, there is crude language.

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Classy!

The Mississippi Department of Education paid over $214,000 to a community activist in Memphis in 2015 yet can't seem to locate a contract for the payments.  Joseph Kyles was also arrested recently for allegedly beating his girlfriend because she would not get an abortion. The Clarion-Ledger reported:

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Bill Crawford: So much for budget hearings.

The Legislature’s quickie budget hearings produced few surprises last week. Schools, colleges, and universities, as usual, asked for lots more money while legislators, as usual, focused on holding down spending.

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Friday, September 29, 2017

State Senator going to Court of Appeals

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following statement.

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JPS is just plain fat.

JJ compared the staffing of Jackson Public Schools District to the Desoto County School District.  There is no other way to describe the analysis: JPS is bloated.  JPS has 941 more employees despite having 6,589 fewer students.  JJ obtained more information from Desoto and also included the Rankin County School District in the comparison.  The story gets even worse.

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Next stop: Prison

Someone is finally a resident of MDOC after spending a couple of weeks in the Lowndes County jail.

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Burglars busted.

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement and mug shots.

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Thursday, September 28, 2017

Hurst gets closer

The Senate Judiciary Committee approved the nomination of Mike Hurst for U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Mississippi  today. His nomination moves on to the full Senate. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Priv

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State Auditor busts MDE for sweetheart deals

State Auditor Stacey Pickering blasted the Mississippi Department of Education for awarding contracts while trying to get around public purchasing laws in a report. +.  In other words, the State Auditor accused the Superintendent of repeatedly giving sweetheart deals to her friends while the Board sat back and watched.  Payments were made for hundreds of thousands of dollars with no documentation while numerous contracts were structured to avoid bidding and any review by outside parties.

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The Chairwoman of the Board speaks on takeover

Rosemary G. Aultman, Chairwoman of the Mississippi State Board of Education, submitted the following column.

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More partners accuse Mugshots owner of embezzlement.

Yet another group of owners of a Mugshots franchise have sued fellow Mugshots owner Chris McDonald and several companies he owns, in federal court for alleged fraud and Rico violations.   Chad Eron, Jim Walsh, Patrick Johnson, Stephen Arant, and Alex Pitt accused McDonald of borrowing nearly $1 million against their three Mugshots restaurants in Alabama without their knowledge and paying bogus invoices to Mr. McDonald-owned companies.  The owner of the Ridgeland Mugshots filed a similar lawsuit in April. Earlier post.

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Teen drowns in Rankin County lake

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Chism-Millsaps poll: Voters don't like legislature, want lottery.

Millsaps College and Chism Strategies released its polling results in a "State of the State" memo today.  Some highlights of the memo are:

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Clinton police arrest damn Yankee

The Clinton Police Department issued the following statement and six colored glossy photographs with arrows and an explanation on the back of each one.

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Does Jackson pay too much for lobbying?

Jackson Mayor Chowke Lumumba asked the Jackson City Council to hire Octagon Group for lobbying services last night. Quincy Mukoro is the owner of Octagon.  The current lobbyist is Worth Thomas.  The request submitted to the City Council set the maximum compensation for Octagon at $135,000.  The term of the contract would be one year.  However, Jackson pays much more money than do other cities and counties in Mississippi for lobbying services.  Check out what municipal and county lobbyists made in 2016:

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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Jackson City Council will be busy tonight

Some items appearing on the agenda for tonight's meeting of the Jackson City Council:

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Senator Cochran recuperating

Senator Thad Cochran issued the following statement.

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Scam alert

JPD issued the following statement.

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Hazzard & Schwartz

The Richard Schwartz & Brent Hazzard radio show has been spicing up the airwaves every Wednesday morning on WMPR.  Listen to the hottest talk radio show in Jackson posted below. The two attorneys discussed the JPS takeover. 




This post is a paid advertisement.

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The Raymond Lonely Hearts Club

Sometimes JJ actually wishes it were making up a post and this is one of those times.  An employee at the Hinds County Sheriff's Department engaged in a relationship um,  on several levels with an inmate.  She sent a letter to the inmate, who of course could not keep it to himself.  The letter is posted below. 

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Monday, September 25, 2017

Wrong-way driver indicted for manslaughter

A Madison County grand jury indicted Leronnie Michael in June for Culpable Negligence Manslaughter in the death of Jackson Busby.  Madison Police arrested Michael on December 22, 2016 after he allegedly drove the wrong way on I-55 N and struck another car in a head-on collision.  Madison Police stated in a press release at the time of the wreck:

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Shameful!

The sexual harassment lawsuit against Belhaven University started out with much sound in the media but was ended by the fury of the judge.  Unfortunately, the same media that engage in a hi-tech lynching of Belhaven and its employee when attorney Carlos Moore and his client, Erica Stewart, filed the lawsuit couldn't bother to report that the Judge threw out the case, sanctioned the Mr. Moore, fined Ms. Stewart, and said she destroyed evidence. 

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Home invasion in Reservoir East

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Sunday, September 24, 2017

JPS page updated.

The hot topic in the news is JPS.  JJ updated the collection of posts for the JPS takeover, JPS, and MDE.  Click on this link to read JJ posts on these subjects. Enjoy. 

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JPD searching for CVS suspect

JPD issued the following statement.

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Freeze: "What I did was wrong"

Former Ole Miss Head Football Coach Hugh Freeze apologized to Ole Miss fans in this message that was posted on Rebelgrove.com:

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Who is your master?

If you can't make it to church this morning, enjoy this sermon given by the late Dr. Frank Pollard of First Baptist Church (Jackson). 

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Saturday, September 23, 2017

Bill Crawford: Should healthcare become an entitlement?

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service lists the following as the rights of American citizenship: freedom of expression; freedom to worship as you wish; right to a prompt, fair trial by jury; right to vote in elections for public officials; right to apply for federal employment requiring U.S. citizenship; right to run for elected office; and freedom to pursue “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

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JPS sues MDE over takeover.

The Jackson Public School District asked a Hinds County Circuit Court to stop the Mississippi Department of Education from assuming control of the district.  JPS filed the petition for a temporary restraining order today and preliminary injunction.  JPS filed a similar petition last week in Hinds County Chancery Court but Chancellor Dewayne Thomas said he lacked jurisdiction to rule on the petition.  The case is assigned to Judge Bill Gowan.

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Friday, September 22, 2017

How bloated is JPS?

 How bloated is the JPS payroll? Compare the workforce of JPS and Desoto County.  Desoto is the largest school district in Mississippi with 6,589 students more than JPS.*  However, JPS has nearly a thousand more employees and a much smaller share of JPS's employees are teachers.  See how bad the numbers are.  

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Court sanctions Carlos Moore in Belhaven Case.


Carlos the Clown has to pay up in the Belhaven case.  U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves sanctioned attorney Carlos Moore $500 after the court ruled his client destroyed evidence and lied about the destruction.  His client must also pay a $100 fine.  The fine is the second time this year a federal judge has sanctioned Mr. Moore.

Erica Stewart sued Belhaven University and former employee Tarold Durham for sexual harassment last year.  U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves dismissed the complaint against Mr. Durham in June while Belhaven asked the court to sanction Ms. Stewart's attorney, Carlos Moore.  Ms. Stewart claimed that Mr. Durham sent sexually explicit images of himself to her cellphone when she interviewed for a job at Belhaven.  However, Belhaven produced a report that showed the plaintiff sent sexually provocative pictures of herself in a partial state of undress to the defendant prior to his allegedly sending the offensive picture. Ms. Stewart also got rid of the phone containing the allegedly offensive correspondence before Belhaven could get it.  Judge Reeves succinctly and sardonically spelled out why he sanctioned the troublesome twosome:

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Thursday, September 21, 2017

Should MDE take over the Clarion-Ledger?

Read the opening paragraph word for word.

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Ridgeland's Hotel Wars

The Ridgeland Board of Aldermen extended a moratorium on hotel construction for another thirty days Tuesday night.  The moratorium was brought up for a discussion and vote despite not being on the agenda.  The Madison County Journal reported today:

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Quiz me this. JPS edition.

A Social Studies quiz supposedly given to students at Murrah High School is making the rounds on Facebook.  It uses the words "injuns" and the reading level might leave something to be desired.  Read for yourself.  JJ sent a copy of the quiz to JPS this morning and asked for a comment but has not yet received a response.  A mother of a Murrah High School Senior posted on Facebook that the quiz was not a fabrication and that it was given to her son's class.  One hopes this quiz is indeed a hoax.

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45 years for Slick

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release. 

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Judge defends sending child-shooter home.

A firestorm of criticism erupted in July when a man accused of shooting a seven year-old child in Jackson was released under house arrest and didn't have to post a bond.  However, Jackson Municipal Court Judge Ali "Firm but Fair" Shamsiddeen defended his decision on the Charles Evers radio show on WMPR on July 19.   Judge Shamsiddeen  also said that he didn't want to place him in jail because he was accused of harming a child and prison life is rather "tough" on such defendants.    Judge Shamsiddeen made quite a few colorful remarks and even discussed the case with the defendant's father on the air.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Mistrial!

A mistrial was declared in State v. Joshua Archie.  Circuit Judge John Emfinger declared the mistrial after the jury could not reach a verdict.  Archie was indicted for capital murder in the 2012 death of Party City (Ridgeland) Manager Bobby Adams.

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The Godfather explained

Crime has popped back up in the news recently.  Take a break from the crime stories and watch this campy video that explains The Godfather to Millenials.

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How the Legislature spends your money.

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the 2017 report of legislative expenses.  It is posted below.

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Still rockin' & rappin' in the county jail.

Check out this guy and his friends partying away in the Hinds County jail.

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Freeze the Burners

The phones of Freeze saga continues.  The latest chapter involves the alleged use of burner phones.  The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday:

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Lock & load: Murder suspect was free on bond after stabbing a cop. (Update: ARRESTED)

Update #3 (9/21/2017): Johnson was arrested and is in custody. 

Update #2 (9/20/17): Judge Kidd revoked his bond although Johnson still remains at large. 

Update: It gets better. Bond was only $1,000.  That's right.  Stab a cop, Hinds County Judge continues the suspect's  bond at $1,000. 

Shamsid-dunce might want to pay attention to this post.  JPD has a suspect in a stabbing death that took place on Woodrow Wilson Drive.  JPD tweeted:

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Reward offered for escapees (Updated)

UPDATE: SANDERS CAPTURED. 

The Mississippi Department of Corrections issued the following statement.

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Trial set for Wayne Parish.

The murder trial for Wayne Parish is scheduled for January 29, 2018. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Priv

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Medicaid Morass

The Division of Medicaid will execute three lucrative managed care contracts for the MississippiCan program  after the Contract Review Board took no action on them this morning. The Contract Review Board did not approve or reject the three contracts that were awarded to UHC, Molina, and Centene. The staff recommended that the Board approve the contracts. 

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Hico Hoedown

The Flag Chapel Fight took place Sunday afternoon at Lake Hico.  The fight almost looked like a real boxing match.  There were boxing gloves, a referee, and even rounds.  Blows were traded but unfortunately no one yelled "stick and move."  However, the fight ended when someone pulled a gun and start shooting.  The video is posted below.  The gun is fired around 15:00.

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Monday, September 18, 2017

JPS parents sue to stop takeover

A group of parents of children enrolled in Jackson Public Schools sued the Mississippi Department of Education today in federal court in an attempt to block an MDE takeover of JPS.  The lawsuit is posted below.

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Kim Wade turned loose

Kiiiiiiiim Wade went totally off the chain Friday in his opening monologue.  The thought of a JPS takeover was just too much for him to handle.  Listen for yourself.

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Why JJ covers JPS

There is talk in some Jackson circles that this website is working with the Republicans to take over Jackson Public Schools. JJ doesn’t normally respond to chatter, because someone is always throwing stones at this website. However, the Mississippi Department of Education’s decision to take over Jackson Public Schools is a story that is very emotionally-charged and upset quite a few people. Some see it as another example of the state yet again trying to take something from Jackson. Others see it as Mississippi once again showing its own brand of racism, although some are inclined to see racism in anything. Others are just plain confused and genuinely scared because their children’s education is at stake. JJ will attempt to explain why it has an interest in JPS. 

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Stupid crook of the day.

You can't make this up.  Attorney Generalissimo James Tiberius Hood issued the following statement.

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Airbnb collecting tax in Mississippi

Airbnb issued the following notice last weekend:

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Sunday, September 17, 2017

Let's Get Ready to Rumb-lllllllllle!!!

Today at Flag Chapel Park:

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Start at the Source

If you can't make it to church this morning, enjoy this 1987 sermon from the late Dr. Frank Pollard. 

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Saturday, September 16, 2017

How bad is pop music today?

Does modern music suck or are such complaints merely what one hears every generation? Watch Thoughty2's analysis on Youtube below and decide for yourself. 

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Bill Crawford: The Church & The Flag

Former state GOP executive director, elected Republican official, and chief of staff to Kirk Fordice, Mississippi's first Republican Governor since Reconstruction, Andy Taggart has publicly challenged his party to step up and "lead the charge in finally removing from our state flag the representation of the Confederate battle flag."

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Friday, September 15, 2017

Endangered Species Alert!!!

Stingray made an appearance on Youtube a few days ago:

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Medicaid Melee over Managed Care

The Mississippi Hospital Association failed in its attempt last month to get a court to stop Medicaid from awarding a lucrative managed care contract to three competitors.  MHA's proposal scored sixth out of seven bids.   Hinds County Chancellor rejected the petition for a temporary restraining order and said MHA had not exhausted its administrative remedies.

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Thursday, September 14, 2017

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss?

The Mississippi Department of Education will appoint Dr.  Margie Pulley as the interim Superintendent of the Jackson Public Schools District if Govenor Phil Bryant approves the takeover by MDE.  She was the Superintendent of the Greenwood Public Schools District from 2008-2012. 

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ACT scores rise

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release. 

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JPS sues to stop takeover

The Jackson Public School District sued the Mississippi Department of Education in Hinds County Chancery Court today.  The District asked the court to stop MDE from taking over the operations of the school district. The case is assigned to Chancellor Dewayne Thomas. The lawsuit is posted below. 

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Bedwetter alert

This post may trigger some readers.

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MDE asks Governor to declare JPS state of emergency

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement: 

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Gun nuts gone wild. State Auditor says Ecru employees embezzled nearly $400,000 to buy guns.

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following statement.

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Board of Education to discuss JPS takeover today

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release. 

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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Farewell to Sophie

The Kingfish had to say farewell to Sophie today.  Our tri-color King Charles Spaniel was ten years old when she left this world.  She will be missed.

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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

STOP!!!!!!!!!

This flyer is making the rounds in Jackson.

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Wife-beater sentenced to 10 years in prison. (Video)

If I can write a post I will do so today but here are the videos of the Clark sentencing hearing that took place Friday.  Lowndes County Circuit Judge Jim Kitchens sentenced Brian Clark to serve 16 years in prison for the beating of his wife, Dr. Hope Clark.  Clark pleaded guilty to Aggravated Assault-Domestic Violence in May.  Judge Kitchens suspended six years of the sentence and also required him to serve five years of post-release supervision.  Clark will be eligible for release for prison upon serving five years of his sentenced under HB #585. 

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Mayor opposes JPS takeover

Still under the weather but a couple of posts will go up.  The City of Jackson issued the following statement on a possible takeover of JPS:

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Monday, September 11, 2017

It happens.

I'm out sick. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Priv

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Slick is going up the river.

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release: 

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Do we need the Certificate of Need?

Is it time for Mississippi to abolish the Certificate of Need? The House Public Health and Human Services Committee will ask that question today.  Anna Wolfe reported in the Clarion-Ledger yesterday:

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Sunday, September 10, 2017

New Orleans can't get out of its own way.

Once again, New Orleans provides a lesson in what not to do.   The actual work of paving a road should be a simple process - unless the city or U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is involved.  The Times-Picayune reported last week:

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Apathy, Lethargy, & Procrastination

If you can't make it to church today, enjoy this 1987 sermon given by the late Dr. Frank Pollard.  He preached from the Book of Joel, yes Joel. 

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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Irma approaches

Here are some Hurricane Irma webcams. Feel free to add more in the comments.

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Drug bust of the day

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement and pictures. 

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Bill Crawford: The Rule of the Organmeisters

"The first principle is that everyone is scared," said Mike. "The second principle is that everyone hates."

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Friday, September 8, 2017

Patrick Kelly indicted

Update: Kelly posted bond ($10,000) and is no longer in custody. 

A Madison County grand jury indicted Patrick Kelly for embezzlement. Kelly owned Mint and Juleps. He is currently in custody at the Madison County jail.  The indictment states:

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Update: 16 years.

2:55 PM Update: Judge Kitchens sentences Clark to serve 16 years in prison and suspends six years. That means under #585, Clark will serve five years.

Not much else will be posted today. I'm at the sentencing hearing for Bryan Clark. Judge Kitchens heard and denied a motion to recuse this morning. He recessed to read the letters sent to his court for sentencing recommendation. Court is about to start. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Priv

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'Murica!

Some robbers attempted to hit a Cleveland Taco Bell but were outgunned:

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Priester speaks on JPS

Jackson Ward 2 City Councilman Melvin Priester, Jr. took to the pages of Facebook to comment on the possibility of a state takeover of JPS:

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Good guys win a round.

Some Mayors will attempt to get around the Open Meetings Act by meeting with one or two aldermen at a time.  The public never knows about it and the skullduggery takes place behind closed doors.  The board meeting comes, there is little discussion, and presto- the subject action passes.  Well, the Mississippi Supreme Court said no more.  The Mississippi Justice Institute issued this statement:

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Feathered Cow Flies

The Feathered Cow is closing its I-55N location but will remain open in the Reservoir area.  Owner Nathan Glenn stated on its Facebook page:

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Thursday, September 7, 2017

Too many students playing hooky

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement. 

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Mayor makes appointment to JMAA board.

Jackson Mayor Chokwe A. Lumumba appointed Lt. Col. (Ret.) Lucius Wright to the Board of Commissioners for the Jackson Municipal Airport Authority.  The City Council approved the nomination on August 31.  The former artillery officer was awarded the Purple Heart and two Bronze Stars.  He also earned Master Aviator status.  His resume and a video of the confirmation hearing are posted below.

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UMMC paid $509,000 for MSMA dues

It is no secret money woes plague UMMC.  The teaching hospital was forced to cut $24 million earlier this year and more cuts are probably on the way if the state's finances don't substantially improve.  JJ has a suggestion for UMMC: Quit paying dues to the Mississippi State Medical Association.

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Ridgeland offers sanctuary to evacuees

Little hurricane coming your way? No problem.  Visit Ridgeland offered a solution on Twitter last night:

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Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Ouch!

A protestor goon took his _____ the police act a little bit too far back in April:

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State Auditor: Errors found in MAEP (Updated)

 Update:  MDE issued this statement this afternoon:

The preliminary estimate for school funding provided to the Mississippi State Board of Education in July, as required by state law, was based on data from the 2016 fiscal year. As stated at the Board meeting, the numbers are expected to change. The actual data needed to produce the final funding recommendation is required to come from the 2017 fiscal year, which will be available in October. The final recommendation will come to the State Board in December. When the final MAEP calculations are done, an independent audit firm verifies the accuracy of the calculations.

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following statement.

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The Hotel Wars of Ridgeland

Ridgeland Hospitality is trying to build a Holiday Inn Express, Holiday Inn, and Tru by Hilton in Ridgeland but has been stopped from doing so by the Ridgeland Board of Aldermen even though the Zoning Board and Mayor Gene McGee have supported its efforts.  Meanwhile, the Board greenlights everything requested by a competing developer, Kerioth Corporation.

Proposed hotels

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Tuesday, September 5, 2017

You call this a storm?

Hurricane Irma is now bigger than the state of Ohio.  A Cleveland weatherman created this graphic:

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MHP: 124 crashes in holiday period.

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following statement.

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Help the kids save for college!

Mississippi Treasurer Lynn Fitch announced 529 Day for kids will be held at the Children's Museum on September 9:

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Amber Alert!!! Update: FOUND!!!

Update (10:50 AM): Boyfriend brought her back.  He is on probation for kidnapping.  SUSPECT IS STILL ON THE LOOOSE!

An Amber Alert has been issued:

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Taggart: Change the state flag

Republican pooh-bah Andy Taggart submitted the following column to JJ.   JJ will publish a well-written column of an opposing viewpoint if submitted.

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Monday, September 4, 2017

Carjackers gone crazy, Hooters hit

JPD issued the following statements on Twitter:

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Football follies

College football started this weekend and that means there was no shortage of foolishness around the SEC.

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Wife-beater will be sentenced Friday (Video)

WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS POSTED BELOW!!!

Brian Clark will be sentenced Friday for brutally beating his wife in 2013 in Lowndes County.  Clark pleaded guilty in May to Aggravated Assault-Domestic Violence.  Clark was scheduled to be sentenced on August 10 but Lowndes County Circuit Judge Kitchens postponed the sentencing until November November 13.  The motion filed by prosecutors stated that Clark was undergoing therapy at the Center for Violence Prevention in Pearl and had 14 remaining sessions.  However, Judge Kitchens held a status hearing Friday to determine when Clark should be sentenced.  The case was continued fifteen times. Clark's family owns Clark Oil & Gas.  His uncle is the CEO of Butler Snow. 

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Sunday, September 3, 2017

What a Deer.

Check out this rescue that took place last week in Texas:

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When a Preacher Comes to Town

If you can't make it to church this morning, enjoy this 1986 sermon given by the late Dr. Frank Pollard.

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Saturday, September 2, 2017

Tonight's movie.

If you are looking for something different to watch on tv tonight, check out this old movie, License to Kill.  A very young Denzel Washington plays a prosecutor trying to put away a drunk driver who killed a teen-age girl. Enjoy.

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The Southern Poverty Loot Center

Highly-paid executives.  Money hidden in off-shore accounts.  Tax-exempt status.  Ponzi scheme? Tax-avoidance for the 1%? Nope.  Such descriptions fit none other than the Southern Poverty Law Center.  The Washington Examiner reported yesterday:

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Property taxes going up

Mayor Chokwe Lumumba issued the following statement:

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Bill Crawford: Who will challenge Tate?

Rumors that Lt. Gov. Tate Reeves will get a serious primary challenger for Governor intensify.
 
There’s the rumor he can’t beat Attorney General Jim Hood so politicos and money men are looking to recruit a strong challenger who can.

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Friday, September 1, 2017

No McDowell Road cruising for a while

The city of Jackson issued the following statement:

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The War over the Warnock continues

The Madison County Journal reported that the Madison County Economic Development Authority (MCEDA) lawyer Skip Jernigan said the Board illegally paid for a $1.2 million airport study:

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Stay tuned.


It will be quiet for awhile on this website since JJ is at a hearing this morning. 

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AG busts Insurance Fraud

A DPS employee was arrested yesterday.  Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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