Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Drive to Survive

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following press release. 


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Enter the Dragon

New photos from season seven of Game of Thrones were released yesterday:

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No bond for accused Kingston killers (Updated with complete coverage)

Madison County Justice Court Judge Bruce McKinley denied bond for Dwan Wakefield, DeAllen Washington, and Byron McBride at their initial appearance today.   A preliminary hearing will be held for them on June 26 at 9:00 AM. Madison County Prosecutor Pamela Hancock told Judge McKinley that the state will seek the death penalty for McBride.

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Insurance Commissioner issues bulletin on opioids.

Mississippi Commissioner of Insurance Mike Chaney issued the following bulletin.

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Monday, May 22, 2017

"My son didn't kill that baby!"

Byron McBride, Sr. lashed out at the media today after a Madison County Justice Court Judge denied bond for his son.  Judge Bruce McKinley denied bond for Byron, McBride Jr.  He was arrested for capital murder in the death of six year-old Kingston Frazier.  McBride attacked the media, saying they had already convicted his son.  Watch the video for yourself:

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Accused Kingston killers face Judge today

The suspects in the murder of young Kingston Frazier will make an initial appearance in Madison County Justice Court today.  However, Dwan Wakefield, Jr., DeAllen Washington, and Byron McBride will not actually appear in the courtroom, but will make their appearance through the use of video conferencing.  Death threats have been made against the suspects and law enforcement officials decided to take no chances with their safety.

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Sunday, May 21, 2017

Dumbass of the Day

Update: Speaker Philip Gunn called on Oliver to apologize:


“I condemn the comments recently posted on Facebook by Rep. Karl Oliver,” said Speaker of the House Philip Gunn. “They do not reflect the views of the Republican party, the leadership of the House of Representatives or the House as a whole. Using the word “lynched” is inappropriate and offensive. We call on Rep. Oliver to apologize.”

One of our esteemed legislators decided to get real stupid on Facebook and that is putting it mildly:

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Tag info not required for Amber Alert Activation

Many people are asking why it took roughly three hours to issue an Amber Alert for Kingston Frazier.  Little Kingston Frazier was kidnapped between around 1:15 AM Thursday morning in the parking lot of Kroger on I-55N in Jackson. Mississippi Department of Public Safety spokesman Warren Strain said the Mississippi Bureau of Investigation received the Amber Alert notice at 4:06 AM and issued the alert twenty minutes later.  However, Hinds County Sheriff Victor Mason blamed the delay in submitting the request to MBI on difficulty in getting the registration information for the Ebony Frazier's vehicle.  The Clarion-Ledger reported Friday:

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Med Board cans Executive Director

The Mississippi Board of Medical Licensure fired Executive Director Dr. John Hall less than a year after it hired him.  The Board fired him last Thursday because he and the Board apparently did not agree on how doctors should be disciplined.  The Clarion-Ledger reported:

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Sunday morning sermon

The late Dr. Frank Pollard was on fire as when he preached this sermon in 1988.  It is probably his most direct commentary on society today out of the 40 sermons that have been posted on this website.  If you can't make it to church, enjoy the sermon. 

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

The cultural kudzu of East Jackson

Collection of all Gold Coast posts.

The Gold Coast didn't slow down in 1947 even after the 1946 crackdown that took place after a Rankin County Constable and bootlegger killed each other.  Some Clarion-Ledger headlines give an idea of the lawless culture that defined the Gold Coast:


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MC carjacker returned to Mississippi

The Clinton Police Department issued the following press release.

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Bill Crawford: Stand up to tax dodgers.

It's time for Mississippi taxpayers to stand up to tax dodgers.
 
It's time to revolt against the State's unfair and discriminatory behavior in the collection of taxes on retail sales.

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Friday, May 19, 2017

Take a break.

This place could use some dog therapy after the last couple of days:

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Kingston Frazier update: Who told what when?

When did the Hinds County Sheriff's Office learn about the kidnapping of the late Kingston Frazier?  Sheriff Mason told reporters at a press conference yesterday that his deputy did not know a crime had been committed until 2:30 AM:

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Kingston was shot more than once.

It's time to kill a rumor about the murder of little Kingston.  This rumor is spreading like wildfire on social media:

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Capital Murder!!!!

Madison County Sheriff Randy Tucker arrested D'Allen Washington, Byron McBride, and Dwan Wakefield for capital murder in the death of six year-old Kingston Frazier yesterday:

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Coming soon

We could all use a break.  Check out what is coming to Netflix:

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Thursday, May 18, 2017

Third person arrested in Kingston's murder.

The Madison Sheriff arrested Byron McBride a few minutes ago.  Law enforcement sources tell JJ that McBride is the suspected shooter in the murder of little Kingston Frazier.

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Wakefield was Ridgeland QB, Washington arrested.

Update #3 (3:05 PM): Washington is in custody in Madison County and is under arrest. He and his attorney left the Hinds County Sheriff's Office and went to Madison County to surrender.



Update #2 (2:55 PM): Washington turned himself in to Hinds County authorities.  David Kenney (WLBT) reported on Twitter: "I'm not sure this second suspect is in custody. He's getting into a private vehicle, no handcuffs on, with a towel to hide his face."

Update: There is a big rumor that Washington was killed by a SWAT team at the Azalea Manor apartments.  Police sources say that is not true and he is going to turn himself in later today.  

Police have in custody Dwan Wakefield of Ridgeland.  Wakefield is a person of interest in the murder of little Kingston Frazier.  Wakefield was the quarterback last year of the Ridgeland High School football team.  Keep in mind he is a person of interest, not a suspect.  His father was convicted of cocaine possession in 2011.


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Jim Hood bags $2 million from Epps vendor

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following statement.

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MURDERED!!!


Update #3 (11:46 AM):  Police have Dwan Wakefield, Jr. in custody for questioning.  They are looking for DeAllen Washington as a person of interest.

Source: WLBT
 Update #2: Child is dead.  He was shot to death.   Damn.  JPD just tweeted (10:55):

Stolen Toyota linked to the auto theft/kidnapping from Kroger on I-55 was located in Madison County. A deceased child is in the backseat.

Update: Kingston is found in Gluckstadt.  Vehicle abandoned. 

The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation issued the following Amber Alert and photos. 

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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Oops!!!

Hinds County Detention Officer Teryn Bowles wrecked two vehicles at the Mississippi Law Enforcement Officer Training Academy (MLEOTA) in Rankin County nearly two weeks ago.

Photo should not be used without permission from Jackson Jambalaya

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Rick Cleveland: Burdeaux might be best Golden Eagle on the diamond.

Where to even start with Dylan Burdeaux, who does so much for – at least record-wise – the best team in Southern Miss baseball history?

Credit: Sun-Herald

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Treasurer Lynn Fitch & College Savings Mississippi giving out over $3,150 in scholarships

Jackson, MS. Treasurer Lynn Fitch and College Savings Mississippi are excited to host another scholarship opportunity for Mississippians.  The Race to College contest will be held during the Mississippi High School Activities Association (MHSAA) State Baseball Championships at Trustmark Park on May 18-19, 2017.

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ACLU's client sues Canton Estates for being too dangerous.


Did Joseph Heller literally ghost-write the ACLU's lawsuit against Madison County Sheriff Randy Tucker?   The ACLU is suing the Madison County Sheriff for targeting blacks living in apartments on behalf of a client who is also suing those same apartments because they are too dangerous.  The client is also a convicted drug dealer.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Witness whacker gets life without parole.

Madison-Rankin District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following statement.

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Here we go again: Three JMAA Commissioner terms are expired.

The terms of three members of the Jackson Municipal Airport Authority Board of Commissioners expired.  Five commissioners comprise the Board.  One commissioner's term expired over two years ago.

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Monday, May 15, 2017

Child dies after having breathing problems

The Madison Police Department issued the following statement.

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Sheriff hired step-daughter.

Hinds County Sheriff Victor Mason hired his step-daughter the day he assumed office.  She is one of the highest-paid employees at the Raymond Detention Center.  However, a 2007 Mississippi Supreme Court case allows public officials to hire step-children and step-siblings.

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Investor alert!!!


This post is a paid advertisement.

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Massage therapist escorted with a suspension

A massage therapist will sue the Mississippi State Board of Massage Therapy after it suspended her license on May 4.   The Board caught Jiana Hong advertising her therapy services on sexually explicit and escort service websites.  Attorney Ross Barnett, Jr. took a break from practicing his impersonations of Johnny Carson monologues and filed a notice of appeal in Hinds County Circuit Court on behalf of Ms. Hong last Friday.



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Sunday, May 14, 2017

Bedwetter alert

Ms. Social Justice Warrior walks into a store in Portland, gasp- Portland, and sees a couple of "Stars & Bars" rugs for sale.  Conniption doesn't begin to describe her reaction as she proceeds to go off on the employees who didn't exactly handle her tirade in the best way possible.  However, watch what happens in the video when she proves she can dish it but can't take it. 

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Bay St. Louis police accused of beating and choking a crime victim.

A lawsuit filed Thursday accuses Bay St. Louis police officers of arresting, beating, and choking a man who was already beaten to a pulp by some thugs before the police arrived.  Thomas and Cody Koenenn sued BSL police officer John Nelson as well as several other police officers and Mayor Les Fillingame for $5.6 million in damages in U.S. District Court for the incident that occurred last September. 

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What is right living?

Enjoy this 1989 sermon of the late Dr. Frank Pollard. 

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Saturday, May 13, 2017

The year the Gold Coast committed suicide

Collection of all posts on the Gold Coast 

1946 was the year the Gold Coast blew up.  The notorious Gold Coast culture finally crossed the line.  Beatings, arson, stabbings, and even shootings were not rare occurrences  in that part of Rankin County.  However, there is one time-honored rule among those for whom crime is a regular way of life and it was damn sure true back in 1946: don't kill a cop.  A constable and a major bootlegger fought each other and then shot each other to death.  The death of the lawman finally brought in fire and brimstone just as it did in The Godfather when Michael killed a dirty cop.  The lawlessness of the Gold Coast had gone too far and people said enough is enough. 

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Firing the First Fibbie

President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey this week.  The President, media, and politicians managed to create yet another feeding frenzy.  Yet lost in the conniption was a memorandum written by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein.  The memo spells out the reasons for dismissing Mr. Comey and "restoring public confidence" in the FBI.  President Trump and The Spice is Right did not help their cause with their public statements on Mr. Comey's dismissal this week.   However, the memo posted below is worth reading and makes the case for firing the First Fibbie even if the President managed to turn it into a circus.  The memo states:

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Sharber admitted to medical facility.

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement on Joseph Sharber's threats to shoot law enforcement officers:

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Bill Crawford: Mississippi is a federal junkie

Top-notch finance experts assess risks and plan for downturns as diligently as they evaluate and promote upside opportunities.

Mississippi’s economy has become more reliant than ever on federal funds. Should President Donald Trump and conservative leaders succeed in their plans to slash federal spending, the risks to our state economy would be substantial, if we aren’t ready.

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Friday, May 12, 2017

Catch & release grad threatening to shoot police

WARNING: VIOLENT AND CRUDE LANGUAGE IN VIDEO.

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement, photo, and video.

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Coming to Jackson

Midget wrassling, oops, I meant "Micro Wrestling" is coming to Jackson next week.

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Parish responds to McDonald's mother


Wayne Parish responded Wednesday to a wrongful death lawsuit in Hinds County Circuit Court.  Yvette Mason-Sherman sued Wayne Parish, his business partner Jimmy Ratcliff, and Performance Oil for wrongful death in the death of her son.  Parish shot and killed 17 year-old Charles McDonald, Jr.  during a struggle over a gun at Performance Oil on McDowell Road on July 21, 2016. Attorney Carlos Moore represents Ms. Mason-Sherman. Mr. Parish places the blame for the young man's death solely on McDonald. 

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Curtis Wilson surrenders

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Sheriff Tucker responds

Madison County Sheriff Randy Tucker issued the following statement. 

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Court tells Carlos Moore to pay up

A federal judge told Carlos Moore to pay his $3,000 fine after the Grenada attorney asked him to reconsider the fine. U.S. District Judge David Sanders sanctioned Mr. Moore after he failed to respond to discovery requests in a wrongful death lawsuit. Mr. Moore sued the city of Tupelo last year on behalf of the family of  Antwun Shumpert after he was shot to death by a Tupelo police officer. Mr. Moore asked the court to reconsider imposing the sanctions on him.  He said he was affected by several death threats that were made against him in a separate lawsuit concerning the state flag.  The Court was unmoved by his pleas for mercy and had a few things to say to the lawyer.

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Who followed the law?

All Jackson Mayoral candidates filed required statements of economic interest except for Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. and Mayor Tony Yarber.  Mississippi law requires all office-holders and candidates to submit a statement of economic interest form to the Mississippi Ethics Commission.  The Commission posts them online. Posted below are the filings for each candidate.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2017

D.A. tries to postpone his trial.

Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith wants to postpone his retrial that is scheduled to begin on June 12.  He argued in a motion filed yesterday that he intends to use the testimony of Christopher Butler to help his case but can not do so until pending criminal cases against Mr. Butler are adjudicated.  Mr. Smith was indicted for improperly helping criminal defendants.  His January trial ended in a mistrial.  However, the two sides have been battling back and forth so here are the latest developments in the case.

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Back in action

I-85 in Atlanta will actually reopen Monday.  The two sections that were destroyed in a fire were replaced in a month.  The Georgia Department of Transportation produced this pretty cool time-lapse video of the reconstruction:

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Man killed during home invasion

JPD issued the following press release. 

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ACLU: Madison Sheriff targets blacks

The ACLU sued the Madison County Sheriff's Department on behalf of ten black Madison County residents for allegedly targeting blacks.  The complaint charged that the arrest rate for blacks was nearly five times the arrest rate for whites.  Deputies were accused of using roadblocks, jump-out patrols, and warrantless searches of homes to harass the black community. The lawsuit was filed Monday in U.S. District Court and is posted below.

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Rick Cleveland lauds Billy Hamilton

There's been no shortage of sports news recently, but the story that intrigued this writer most was under the radar this past weekend – unless you were in Cincinnati. You, as I, might have missed it.

Source: MLB

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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A true hero

JJ came across these old newspaper articles about a Jackson soldier who was captured by the Nazis after his B-17 was shot down over East Prussia in World War II:

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City truck kills pedestrian, crashes into Gateway

JPD posted the following statements and pictures on Twitter.

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Coming in June

Tired of Fast & Furious ____ or comic book movies at the theatre?  Guess which movie is coming to Jackson in June:

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NE Jackson: Lock & Load

Police are looking for 18 year-old Curtis Wilson.  Wilson is a suspect in several Rankin County burglaries.  He resides at 1714 Lake Trace in Jackson (39211).  His pictures are posted below.  If you see him, contact the police immediately. 

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Rankin ring busted. 2 were out on bond.

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release and pictures.

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Monday, May 8, 2017

Epigrams and Interludes

or a postmortem on the elections in Jackson and the burbs that took place last week. 

My favorite chapter of Nietzche's Beyond Good and Evil is "Epigrams and Interludes". The philosopher chooses to collect a wide array of various thoughts and place them into one chapter.  I have decided to post my observations about last week's elections in the Jackson metro area in the same vein instead of writing one big monster column.  Enjoy.

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Weill routs Routh.

Hinds County public defender Christopher Routh was routed at the Mississippi Supreme Court.  Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill ordered the incarceration of Mr. Routh for the remainder of the business day.  Mr. Routh appealed to the Mississippi Supreme Court but the court upheld Judge Weill.  Mr. Routh found out the hard way that it is never a good idea to disobey a judge in open court.   The Court gave a pretty good idea of where it was going in the opinion in the first two sentences :

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Heroin bust on I-20

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Sunday, May 7, 2017

Rankin man dies in ATV accident

Rankin County Sheriff issued the following statement. 

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"We're fortunate it wasn't worse."

Mississippi Treasurer Lynn Fitch issued the following statement.

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Sheriff claims he has immunity from lawsuit.

Hinds County Sheriff Victor Mason claims he has "qualified immunity" from a sexual harassment lawsuit since he is a law enforcement officer and is thus protected from "First Amendment" claims.  Former Hinds County Chief Deputy Cheryl Matory and deputy Tomeca Barnes sued the Sheriff in U.S. District Court in January for alleged sexual harassment, sex discrimination, and First Amendment retaliation.  The complaint included quite a few lurid details as his former Chief Deputy charge he tried to use her to arrange sexual encounters with another employee.  Earlier post.

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Morning ________

Saturday Night Live nailed Morning Joe last night. 

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The Last Supper

The late Dr. Frank Pollard preaches on the Last Supper in this 1989 sermon. 

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Saturday, May 6, 2017

The Gold Coast war years: crackdowns, shootings, stabbings

Collection of all posts on the Gold Coast.

Sheriff L.G. Holyfield.  Imagine that name spoken with the voice of John Facenda.  Such was the effect of that name on the Gold Coast.  Other Sheriffs made excuses as the whiskey flowed during prohibition in Mississippi.  Sheriff Holyfield just stopped them.  His tenure as Sheriff was a reign of terror for the Gold Coast. 

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Bill Crawford: Who cares about health care?

"Mississippi finishes last – again – among all states in annual health ranking," read the December headline in the Biloxi Sun-Herald. "Mississippi dropped to dead last this year among all 50 states in the annual 'America’s Health Rankings' released by the United Health Foundation," continued the story. "As one of the nation’s poorest states, Mississippi has a legacy of poor health because poverty is often a driver, and consequence, of bad health."

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Friday, May 5, 2017

No comment

Political campaigns always bring out the comedians and this week's election was no exception.  One rather crude letter made the rounds.   It's posted below.  Pretty much every campaign worker and political insider has already seen it. However, the names are redacted and it will be taken down after the weekend (or possibly sooner) so laugh while you can.  Don't bother trying to sneak in the names through comments.  They won't be approved.  Enjoy.

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Canton fires Rudy

The Canton Board of Aldermen voted 4-0 yesterday to terminate Rudy Warnock as city engineer.  Aldermen Les Penn, Eric Gilkey, and Andrew Grant did not attend the special called meeting.  Mr. Warnock is engaged in a court fight with Canton Municipal Utilities as well. The court denied CMU's motion to dismiss for lack of jurisdiction earlier this week. 

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State Capitol is now a national landmark.

The U.S. Department of the Interior designated the Mississippi State Capitol as a national historic landmark.*  The Capitol has been lauded for many years as a beautiful work of art.  Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewel stated in the press release:

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Check out the IMS gravy train

IMS Engineers obtained a "project management" contract from the Jackson City Council in December 2015 to manage projects funded by the 1% sales tax.  The amount of the fee for the contract was $840,000.  The term was one year.  Mayor Tony Yarber's administration tried to renew the contract and increase the fee to $1.5 million but the Sales Tax Commission objected to the renewal.  JJ obtained copies of the invoices submitted by IMS and posted them below. They make for some interesting reading.

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Thursday, May 4, 2017

Chism & Millsaps analyze Mayor's race

Brad Chism and Millsaps College released an analysis of the election results and their poll conducted last week.  It is posted below.  The precinct results were posted earlier today as well.

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Deaton indicted in Rankin County

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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Chaney lauds Obamacare replacement

Insurance Commish Mike Chaney issued the following statement. 

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Read 'em and weep.

The precinct report for the Jackson municipal elections are posted below. Enjoy. 

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Reddix rolls

Jackson physician Carl Reddix pleaded guilty to one count of bribing Chris Epps when he was MDOC Commissioner.   It was quite a fall for the physician who was a mover and shaker in the black power structure of Jackson.  The court will sentence Dr. Reddix on August 1. He could serve up to ten years in prison and a fine of $250,000 or less.  The case is assigned to U.S. District Judge Daniel Jordan. 

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MS Truth Journal: Flagging revenues are a myth.

The Mississippi Truth Journal issued the following statement on Facebook.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Speaker will study lottery

Speaker of the House Philip Gunn (R-DOR) issued the following statement.

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August trial set for ex-DJP secretary

Note: The Clarion-Ledger still has not covered this lawsuit. 

A former Downtown Jackson Partners secretary will go to trial in Madison County court on August 22 in a lawsuit filed by the organization.  DJP sued Linda Brune in 2014 for allegedly embezzling over $43,000.

Click Here to Read More..

Congratulations to Chokwe Lumumba, Jr.

Note: Click here to see the precinct results.

Congratulations to Chokwe Antar Lumumba, Jr.  He came, he saw, he kicked ass.  Voters wanted a change and said so last night.  He lost three years ago but instead of quitting, he got tough.  He wanted the job more, he worked his butt off, and was willing to do what it took to win.  Never underestimate a ground game in local politics.  He won the race fair and square last night.  It's now his turn to show what he can do and if he can indeed revive Jackson.   Congratulations to Mr. Lumumba. 

Here are the final vote tallies from last night.

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Rick Cleveland opines on the draft.

As the last choice of the NFL Draft, Chad Kelly will spend the next year being called “Mr. Irrelevant.”

But it says here Kelly possesses the arm strength, athleticism and toughness to become relevant, indeed, in the NFL.

Kelly, at the end of his junior season and in the Sugar Bowl that came later, was playing the position of quarterback as well as anyone in college football. Clearly, he has the physical tools to succeed in “the league.”

We'll just have to wait and see if he can develop the discipline.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Lumumba avoids runoff, Queen & Gene win, Rogers goes down. Canton rematch.

Election night is finally here.  This is the election night thread.  Fire away with comments and results. 

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S&P is worried about Mississippi.

Standard & Poor's issued the following press release about Mississippi's financial condition.

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Election Day thread.

The Clarion-Ledger's Anna Wolfe performed a public service last week when she interviewed each of the five major Jackson mayoral candidates.  A link to each story is posted below for your convenience.  Consider this post to be an election day thread on all municipal races.

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Cochran announces appropriations for Mississippi

Senator Thad Cochran issued the following press release.

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Thar' she blows!!!

A shame this wasn't an oil gusher but check out what took place on Heatherwood last night.

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Monday, May 1, 2017

One nation, Underwood.

Finally!  The trailer for season five of House of Cards was released today.  Enjoy.

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Back-page bust.

JPD issued the following press release. 

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Pearl Mayor's race

The media is focused on the Jackson Mayor's race but there is a hotly contested race in Pearl.  Jake Windham is attempting to oust Mayor Brad Rogers from the seat he has held for two terms.  Consider this post to be an open thread about the Pearl Mayor's race. 

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You can't make this up.

Check out this section of the Berkeley Police Department's website.

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Her Finest Hour

JJ was going to write an editorial endorsing Madison Mayor Mary Hawkins-Butler as it did four years ago but decided instead to tell a story that took place twenty years ago.


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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