Monday, April 10, 2017

Meet Belhaven's newest threat.

A newspaper thief is running wild in Belhaven.  These messages appeared on Nextdoor:




Hiding place? They are going about this wrong.  This is an opportunity for an ambush.  A few knocks on the noggin will do much more good than putting the thief through the Hinds County Catch & Release program. 

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Day after day after day after day after day.....same song, different thug.

Anonymous said...

Old guy who lives nearby who maybe can't afford the paper? Sad.

Belhaven Beautification Committee said...

The real question here is, if he's caught, what can he possibly be charged with? This is the CL we're talking about so there's a strong argument to be made that he's simply picking up litter.

Anonymous said...

If that's his standard for what is worth stealing, send him to my neighborhood. He can "steal" the piles of leaves in my yard.

Anonymous said...

The pearl clutching is awesome...what do I do? I dunno, it's your house, you know about when he's coming, you clearly have technology to detect his arrival. Maybe step outside and tell him you're going to thump him the next time you see him? Cowering and asking for input from your neighbors seems to not be doing the trick.

Liberal Logic said...

I'm actually surprised they haven't started a "go fund me" account to have this mans paper delivered daily to the bar at The Belhaven, including a cup of his favorite coffee.

Anonymous said...

11:03, I agree. This guy doesn't appear to be much more than a petty thief. Walk outside and confront him. Have some balls!

Anonymous said...

10:59, you still have piles of leaves in your yard? Your neighbors must love you . . .

Dan Hise said...

A Criminal Science student could get at least a Master's thesis out of this guy. In fact, the JPD knows who he is, and has arrested him in the past, but it isn't easy to keep him locked up for stealing newspapers. He's apparently disturbed mentally. As best I can tell, he hoards the papers and does not resell them. JPD knows where he lives, but has thrown in the towel when there are so many higher priorities.

The papers are delivered around 4 am, and that's way too early for most of us. One of our stalwart neighbors did get up early and confront the guy, but it didn't slow him down. What is one going to do--beat him up? Shoot him? The CL staff have been helpful to some extent, such as directing the carrier to stick papers through mail slots, but not everyone has a mail slot. I can't help but wonder if the CL isn't happy with this, presuming they want to eliminate the print option.

It wasn't long before we thought of the "broken windows" theory of policing, but that would be a luxury for the undermanned JPD. (Notwithstanding, JPD recently had a traffic cop going around the neighborhood on a Sunday morning, ticketing cars that were parked facing the wrong way, which is unimaginably picayune.)

So we have a dilemma. If someone out there wants to investigate the Green Monster case, please have at it. It doesn't look like the CL is going to take it on. (Seems like a good story for Billy Watkins.) Or even Three on Your Side. Anyone?

Anonymous said...

Point out to him all the places he can pick up the Jackson Fake Press in the vicinity and then tell him he can take one from each location every single day and two on Sundays. That will keep him busy.

noel said...

It's unfortunate he can't get the help he needs. I would spray my paper with some of this and I bet it wouldn't take too many times for him to get the hint.

https://shop.foxlabs.com/collections/five-point-three/products/2oz-2-oc-flip-top-heavy-stream-spray-pattern

Anonymous said...

Obviously, the solution that is being promoted by the CL is to have each Fondrenite subscriber double their subscription; one for black rainman and one for the composting toilet.

Anonymous said...

Lots of stuff in that photo worth stealing other than papers. Who leaves this stuff out front when you live in the middle of a criminal enclave that's twelve miles square?

BTW - Leave some toilet paper out so he won't have to use the CL. You'll be viewed as the neighbor who left cookies for Santa.

Messick said...

1. Get a dog, preferably an "aggressive breed".
2. Don't feed it for a few days.
3. Turn loose when necessary.

Anonymous said...

11:35 -- 10:59 here.

I have 8 acres and lots of trees, so yeah, there's typically a week or so in the spring where we put them in piles before we cart them off. The neighbors out here don't seem to mind.

That said, if someone were the type to get annoyed at leaves being around for a few days, I would almost feel a moral obligation to annoy them.

Anonymous said...

Three little words........LOCK AND LOAD.

exjxnres said...

He was probably just running low on toilet paper...! Good news......

Ophie said...

"He who steals my Clarion Ledger steals trash..."

Get the online edition if you must hold your nose and read it at all.

Anonymous said...

Three little words........LOCK AND LOAD.

Over newspapers? Seriously?

He's a Criminal For Pete's Sake... said...

4:59....Newspapers today. A bicycle tomorrow. Then a grill and your nice flower pots. Then he rattles the door or goes around back where your lawn tools and nice bottle tree are. The newspaper, in this case, is a gateway crime.

Anonymous said...

Over a "nice bottle tree?" Really?

Anonymous said...

3:08 I have two little words for you: Gun Nut! And some day it will get you in trouble when you have locked and loaded for the wrong reason.

Anonymous said...

8:22...My bottle tree is as valuable to me as your collection of Kahlil Gibran books is to you.

Anonymous said...

I accosted him in the act of stealing our Sunday paper. We had our papers stolen every Sunday for several months. I had been warned that trespassing and simple theft is a misdemeanor and that if I beat the crap out of him I would be charged with assault. I had a nice talk with him and explained what would happen if I ever caught him again. That was last year and he has not been back. My question is: if you commit trespassing and simple theft (both misdemeanors) 20 times a day for several years, does this not eventually add up to a felony? He is very large and the fact that he comes up on our porch to steal our paper frightens my wife. I will protect her.

Ophelia said...

Three-oh-four, touche'!!! That right there was funneeeee..."Kahlil Gibran collection"!



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