Jackson City Councilman Kenneth Stokes crossed the line today. WLBT reported:
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Airports. Did someone mention Airports? The Jackson Municipal Airport popped up in the news this week as the Jackson City Council learned that Senator Josh Harkins will file a bill in the 2016 session of the Mississippi Legislature that will alter the governing board of the airport. The airport is currently governed by a board of five commissioners appointed by the city of Jackson. The bill will replace that board with a seven-member board representing Hinds, Madison, and Rankin Counties. Josh would appoint the members.
Make no mistake, this fight is going to be a battle royale. However, JJ is going to provide a snapshot of the current state of the airport as presented to the commissioners earlier this month. Most of the loudmouths opining on both sides of the issue have no clue as to what goes on at the airport. They should read the rest of this post if they want to learn.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Does anyone remember this Star Wars trailer? First one ever and it was not exactly polished. Speaking of movies, has anyone noticed problems at Malco? Went last week to a 9:00 PM show. No cokes or other soft drinks. Popcorn stations were out of butter and popcorn salt. One kid running a cash register while others were just walking around doing whatever. Several other people said they experienced the same problems on other nights. It was the nicest theatre in the area. Hope it is not going down.
Emails between Ridgeland officials and their constituents show several exchanges over the changing racial composition of Ridgeland. Several Ridgeland residents complained about "Ridgeland school demographics" and the city becoming the "new Northeast Jackson". One email even called the demographics at Anne Smith Elementary School "a problem". Mayor Gene McGee wrote "You are so right" in a response to that particular email. The emails are posted below.
Many of you are no doubt familiar with a website called The Onion, which produces satirical, often hilarious, “news” stories. I have no problem with The Onion. It sometimes makes me laugh.
Our problem these days is differentiating between The Onion and the countless news outlets, which are serving up ever-increasing volumes of blather and babble that sometimes read like satire but are not.
Exhibit A: An Al Jazeera report last weekend that purported Peyton Manning used HGH, a hormone banned by the NFL, to recover from a career threatening neck injury in 2011.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Update: Ridgeland PD said suspect is held on a $2,500 written bond. He is bound over to grand jury. The crime will be prosecuted as a felony due to the dollar amount. He has not been arrested before by JPD. He was arrested in September for doing the same thing to the horse statues in front of P.F. Chang's. The suspect is from Jackson.
Can't have anything nice in this area. Some punk decided to go knock the hooves off of the horse statues that populate the fountain at the Renaissance at Colony Park. A man allegedly used a sledgehammer to attack the horse statues and Italian fountain. Ridgeland Police were called to the scene at 6:00 AM yesterday and charged Charles Branch with malicious mischief. The black male is thirty years old. He is currently a resident of the Madison County jail. It is not known what the bond for Branch is. JJ is working to obtain his identity and more information. See the damage for yourself. Free-lance photographer Rick Guy shot these photos for JJ.
HUD accused Ridgeland of trying to force minorities to leave the city in a complaint served on Ridgeland December 4. The complaint paints a picture of a city concerned by the "changing demographics" of Southeast Ridgeland and Ridgeland public schools. The city tried to use several tactics to change the nature of Southeast Ridgeland. Needless to say, HUD noticed such efforts and seeks to bring the hammer down on Ridgeland.
Correction: >This post contained two pictures of Mr. Shackelford and a female. JJ misidentified her as Mrs. Thomas. JJ has other pictures of Mrs. Thomas and the women are similar in features. Apologies to Lindsey Thomas and Mr. Shackelford. The removal of the pictures obviously changes the nature of the story. We make a mistake on this website, we own up to it and don't bury it on the bottom of page B-18 in fine print.
Journalistus Maximus Jerry Mitchell reported that Madison County Constable Matt Shackleford might have engaged in some questionable behavior. The story appeared on the front page of the Sunday edition of the Clarion-Ledger. The article included a picture of the constable holding up a funny-looking plant. It is not known if he is indeed a horticulturist or has an affinity for plants of the distinctive green-leaf variety. The story then questioned his actions and relationship with the wife of Lindsey Kirkland Thomas. Mr. Shackelford arrested Raymond Ethan Thomas after Mrs. Thomas filed charges against him. The constable later arrested Mr. Thomas for allegedly stalking him as well. The charges were later dismissed or remanded. The couple is seeking a divorce. Mr. Mitchell only posted one picture in his article. However, JJ obtained more pictures which may tell the Rest of the story.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Clean up a city, balance the books, get a surplus. All good things, right? Wrong. Doing such merely gets you called a "plantation overseer". Yup. Pontiac, Michigan is making a comeback after the state revoked home rule for the city. The Wall Street Journal reported today:
Imperator Phil Bryant issued the following press release:
This owner of a Jackson taxicab company whined to the city council on December 15 that Jackson doesn't need companies such as Uber and that the city keeps things "fair". Watch the short video for yourself. Here is what she considers to be fair:
Sunday, December 27, 2015
HI MY NAME IS TRAY AND IM LOOKING FOR OR HOPING TO GET MY LOST FAMILY MEMBER BACK. HIS NAME IS BADAZZ. HE IS MORE THAN A DOG TO ME AND MY KIDS HE IS OUR FAMILY. HE IS AROUND 5. HE WAS ACCIDENTALLY LET OUT BY THE HOUSEKEEPER AT A HOTEL. HE LOVES SQUEAKY TOYS. HE KNOWS HIS NAME AND HAS ON A BLACK COLLAR U BARELY CAN SEE DUE TO HIS COAT. ITS TIME FOR HIS GROOMING SO HE'S FLUFFY. I AM OFFERING A REWARD FOR HIS RETURN. Contact Tray @ (901) 831-0360. Click Here to Read More..
Award-winning reporter Jerry Mitchell delved into the Ethan Thomas drama in Madison County on the front pages of the Clarion-Ledger this morning. It seems that Constable Matt Shackleford is ensnared in the mess as he might have gotten a little too close to the wife of Mr. Thomas and has an interesting little green plant in his home as well. The Thomases have filed for divorce in Madison County. Mr. Mitchell writes:
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Will they pay or won't they pay Rudy Warnock tis the question. Madison County Engineer Rudy Warnock submitted 31 invoices to the Board of Supervisors Monday. The Board refused to pay them, while Mr. Warnock threatened to sue if they are not paid (letter posted below). Board attorney Mike Espy cited an Attorney General's opinion (posted below) placing a statute of limitations on the county's ability to pay the invoices.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Thursday, December 24, 2015
The first time Stuart Stevens and his dad went to a Sugar Bowl it snowed. This was New Year's Day 1964. Stuart Stevens was 11 and a dyed-in-red-and-blue Ole Miss Rebel.
That Sugar Bowl matched the Rebels against Alabama. Bear Bryant coached Alabama. John Vaught coached Ole Miss. The Bear suspended star quarterback Joe Namath. But Bama, quarterbacked by future Ole Miss coach Steve Sloan, won anyway, 12-7, on four field goals and seemingly countless Ole Miss turnovers. The game was played outdoors, as football was meant to be played, at Tulane Stadium (heaven rest its soul, and it did have soul).
Young Stuart Stevens, cold and bitterly disappointed, cried. His dad, Jackson lawyer Phineas Stevens, comforted him. It is one of the really poignant scenes in Stuart's beautifully written book, The Last Season (Knopf, 2015).
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
Karl Banks may have started a fight over his loss in court but David Bishop didn't mind hitting him back today as he filed a response in Madison County Circuit Court today. You know the story. Madison County District 4 Supervisor and 32-year incumbent Karl Banks lost by two votes to challenger David Bishop. Banks filed a lawsuit in court that seeks to restore several absentee and affidavit ballots to the election results that oddly enough would make him the winner.
The Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance recommended that the Mississippi Supreme Court remove Madison Justice Court judge Bill Weisenberger from the bench. Oddly enough, Mr. Weisenberger would leave office at the end of the year anyway. The Commission also asked the court to fine the judge $1,000 and require him to pay $5,918. The punishments are related several events that occurred at the Canton Flea Market in 2014. The details are published below in a press release and findings issued by the Commission.
A spokeswoman for Donald Trump completely owned a CNN bed-wetter several weeks ago. We are talking beat down. Smash-mouthed a la Rhonda Rousey. Forget whose side you are on or what you're politics are. This is just plain fun to watch.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Trump is coming. Batten down the hatches. Call out the National Guard. Put up a wall around the coast to keep out the gold-diggers and ban the sale of peroxide for the next two weeks. The Trumpster will appear on the Gulf Coast on January 2 at 7:00 PM:
Monday, December 21, 2015
Madison County Election Commission met today at 10:00. The public notice was posted in one place Friday. Street committee said the Commission intended to ask Circuit Clerk Lee Westbrook to accept four votes. The election has been certified. Sarah Fowler (Clarion-Ledger) streamed in on Periscope. Watch it here. It gets real hot at the end. Ms. Fowler provided much more information on her Twitter feed.
20 Mississippi John Does joined as plaintiffs a lawsuit against Ashley Madison in U.S. District Court last November. They seek an unspecified amount of punitive damages. The original lawsuit was filed by a John Doe plaintiff in September. All plaintiffs admitted they created user profiles on Ashley Madison and submitted pictures of themselves. Several claimed they paid the website a $19.00 fee to delete their information when they decided to quit using the service. The lawsuit reveals the true legacy of Ashley Madison- broken homes, sordid blackmail attempts, and what was in reality, an online scam.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Innovate Mississippi sued its former accounting firm in Madison County Circuit Court on December 16. The company accused accounting firm Carr, Riggs, & Ingram, LLP of failing to detect alleged embezzlement by its former Chief Financial Officer, Tanya Klauser. Innovate Mississippi claims the embezzlement was more than $500,000 and probably $1 million. Innovate Mississippi was formerly Mississippi Technology Alliance. Ms. Klauser pleaded guilty to embezzlement in October 2014.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
A developer claims the city of Madison is attempting to dictate who his tenants can be for a project on Grandview Parkway. Madison Grandview Forum, LLC sued Madison in U.S. District Court on November 17.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Apparently some people missed the November 23 post where JJ stated that JPD cleared Antonio "Animosity" Harris in the Fred's Dollar Store robbery on Parkway Drive. JPD named him as a suspect in a robbery but later stated he was no longer a suspect. I will repeat that statement again in caps and highlights so those of you who missed that post will see this statement: ANTONIO "ANIMOSITY" HARRIS IS NO LONGER A SUSPECT IN THE FRED'S DOLLAR STORE ROBBERY!!!
|Debbie Wagner speaks at the press conference|
It looks like we will finally get a public dog park in this area. A group of private citizens and Pearl River Valley Water Supply District officials announced at a press conference yesterday that the creation of a dog park at Old Trace Park are underway. It will be called the "Old Trace Dog Park" and will sit on Madison County side of the Rez. The project is currently in the fund-raising and planning stages. The dog park is the brain child of Debbie Wagner.
Click Here to Read More..
Thursday, December 17, 2015
The Madison County Journal reported today:
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
So much fail here. Community activist wants city to give Farish Street away. Group threatens to throw Chancellor Dewayne Thomas out of office. And so on. Watch this clip from yesterday's meeting of the Jackson City Council for yourself.
Update: JPD issued a press release that is posted below.
JPD arrested two employees in the department of Public Works for water theft yesterday. JPD Chief Lee Vance estimated the amount of the theft to be $14,000. It seems the two employees were running a "hook me up program" as they would keep water service flowing to paying customers- customers who were paying them instead of the city after they received cutoff notices. Mayor Tony Yarber announced the arrests last night at the regular meeting of the City Council.
Much of the appeal of writing about Mississippi sports for nearly half a century is trying to pick out who's going to be next.
Next? The next Archie. The next Jerry. The next Walter. And so on...
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
The FBI issued the following statement:
Teeth gnashed, tempers flared, and the heavens rumbled with thunderous debate yet in the end, nothing happened at the special meeting of the Madison County Board of Supervisors yesterday. It is not known if any clothes were rent. Chancery Clerk Ronnie Lott was probably giving thanks that he was no longer a supervisor every minute. The Madison County Journal reported:
Click Here to Read More..
Monday, December 14, 2015
The Clarion-Ledger's Anna Wolfe said Mississippi suffered from "tight-lipped officials and toothless watchdogs" in a report for the Center for Public Integrity. She wrote:
Sunday, December 13, 2015
JPD is looking for Marcus Lawson. His street name is "TroubleMane". He crashed a car while fleeing from JPD Friday night after JPD spotted him and gave chase. He is wanted for both robbing the Dollar General Store on McDowell Road, and carjacking on October 15. JPD stated three young black males robbed the store.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Its Frank Sinatra weekend. 100 years since Ole Blue Eyes was born. We can kick it off with this video of the Rat Pack performing in St. Louis. They are all there: Frank, Sammy, and Dino... and a young Johnny Carson. Probably the only time in Carson's career he looked like a lightweight on stage. Count Basie and his orchestra backed up the knuckleheads. Enjoy
Friday, December 11, 2015
Click Here to Read More..
It seems Colonel Don Berry doesn't want to do right even when he promises to do so. Captain* Gayle McMullin filed a motion to enforce a settlement agreement against the Mississippi Highway Patrol and Department of Public Safety yesterday in U.S. District Court. The agency settled a racial discrimination lawsuit with Ms. McMullin in October. The settlement must have been favorable to Captain McMullin as she now serves as MHP Training Director. The court notice states:
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release:
More and more facts about the San Bernardino terrorist attack continue to come out as law enforcement officials and the media do their jobs. An American citizen hooked up with the wrong people, took a trip, came back with a terrorist wife, and we know the rest of the murderous story. Liberals jumped quickly out the gate blaming the NRA and racism for what took place last week. It's all about not letting a crisis go to waste, you see. However, if we are going to play the blame game, there is indeed one group who is morally culpable for what took place last week and has blood on its intellectual hands: the ACLU.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
"Let the games begin." That was meant as a joke when JJ reported on the ballot brawl between Madison County District 4 Supervisor and 32 year champ-een Democrat Karl Banks and his challenger, Republican David Bishop. However, the games indeed started today as a flurry of activity took place in Madison County. And you thought the Christmas season would bring good will to all.
Click Here to Read More..
A man injured during a 2014 police chase sued the Madison and Jackson police departments as well as their respective chiefs and mayors in November 2014 in Hinds County Circuit Court. Robert Pugh was injured as Madison police chased two suspects from the Target store in Jackson to the intersection of Gallatin Street and Oakmont Street. He is represented by attorney Rocky Wilkins. The case is assigned to Judge Winston Kidd.
When Alcorn State first offered its head football coaching job to Jay Hopson in April of 2012, he turned it down. What has happened since should be a book and then a movie.
Problem is, even Hollywood might consider the story a bit inconceivable.
The Alcorn football program was a train wreck. The previous year's team had won just one conference game. Seven or eight of the top returning players had decided not to return. Fan support? Fewer than 500 fans had shown up for Alcorn's final home game in 2011.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
British shadow Foreign Secretary Hilary Benn stood up against his own party and spoke for launching airstrikes against ISIS in Syria last week. Labor Party leader Jeremy Corbyn opposed the airstrikes during a heated debate in the House of Commons last week. Mr. Benn then took the floor and engaged in a bout of oratory rarely seen today in government. He spelled out the case for fighting ISIS in a way that was logical yet colorful. It started as a slow crescendo and ended in a forte of sanity seldom displayed in politics today.
Madison-Rankin District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following statement:
Cliff Torrence pleaded guilty last Thursday to violating the social host law. However, Mr. Torrence did not appear in court but was represented by attorney Bill Kirksey. Mr. Kirksey presented an open guilty plea to the court on behalf of his client. Madison County Justice Court Judge Bruce McKinley accepted the plea but postponed sentencing until January. The learned jurist told Mr. Kirksey that he wanted Mr. Torrence present for sentencing.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Former Florida Governor and GOP presidential candidate Jeb Bush visited the home of Randy James today for a fund-raiser for his campaign. The event is closed to the media. An email that was sent out to invitees provided the following quotes and list of supporters:
Sunday, December 6, 2015
What is the future of news? One writer argues that the centers of media power will shift from New York and Washington to Silicon Valley as a new generation of oligarchs arise. Oligarchs who want to dominate journalism in ways Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch could have only imagined. Chris Morris writes in the Orange County Register:
Friday, December 4, 2015
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Uh-oh. Remember the fella who claimed he was beaten to a pulp by the police at the Ole Miss-LSU game and then denied medical treatment while in jail? Even posted pictures of his beaten face on Facebook (pun intended). Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. WREG posted the booking photo of Chris Barnes and lets just say it appears he looks much better in the jailhouse photo than he does in the Facebook photo. Judge for yourself.
The Mississippi Supreme Court issued the following order:
This video from York County, PA shows why police officers are over-cautious during traffic stops (That means you, Diamond Harris). Routine traffic stop. Driver tosses out the license and then shoots the cop. He survived and a manhunt is underway for the shooter.
Was the mission to bring the Shuckers to Biloxi a quest for fool's gold or will it bring golden times? Steve Wilson likes the project to a Field of Dreams gone bad over at Watchdog.org. He reports:
In the Kevin Costner baseball movie “Field of Dreams,” a mysterious voice from the cornfield told Costner’s character Ray Kinsella if you build it, he will come.
But in Biloxi they didn’t come.
Now seems a good time to ask this question: Would John Vaught, Bear Bryant and Vince Dooley have lasted in today's college football climate?
Georgia's firing of Mark Richt should give us all time to consider carefully before answering.
And we should pause to ask: What exactly has college football become?
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
JPD is promoting Precinct 4 Commander James McGowan to the position of District 2 Commander. He will oversee the operations in Precincts 3 and 4. Precinct 4 Lieutenant Keith Freeman will be promoted to the rank of commander and lead Precinct 4 as well. JPD Chief Lee Vance told JJ that he has not yet made a decision on filling the precinct lieutenant position.Click Here to Read More..
Uber moved one step closer to being "legal" in Jackson. The Rules Committee of the Jackson City Council passed an ordinance yesterday allowing Uber and other "transportation-network" companies to operate in Jackson. The ordinance will treat these companies differently than taxi cab companies.
The highlights of the ordinance* are:
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Raymond Ethan Thomas had a good day in Madison County justice court today as several charges against him were dismissed. Two were dismissed, one was remanded to file for one year, and the fourth one was continued. The Madison County gentleman was vindicated as two charges were dismissed due to a lack of evidence. He was represented by attorney Cynthia Speetjeens. The charges were:
The fight between the Clarion-Ledger and Andrew Mattiace will take place today at 1:30 in Chancellor William Singletary's courtroom. The Chancellor sealed all records of Mattiace's application to the Mississippi Development Authority for $29 million in sales tax rebates for a proposed expansion of the Renaissance development. Buster Bailey and Jim Barksdale of co-developers on the project as well. The newspaper filed a motion to intervene and the two sides have skirmished through several motions and responses.
Mississippi brewers are trying to change a law that prevents them from selling their craft on site. Steve Wilson reported for Watchdog.org:
After touring the Lucky Town Brewery in Jackson, brewmaster Lucas Simmons can give you a sample of his pub ale or his Belgian style blonde ale, but forget about buying a six-pack from him. He’ll have to send you down the road, to a nearby store.
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Most popular posts last week.
- The Gold Coast of Rankin County
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- Stokes goes too far
- Airport makes more money but traffic falls.
- More giant steps for Bert
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- Update on Renaissance vandalism and prosecution
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- Rick Cleveland slams Manning "story"
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- Can't have anything nice around here.
- Clinton raising money for rifles
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- Hell on earth
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- Tornado in Clarksdale area
- Remembering Officer Leonard Redd
- Commission: Kick Weisenberger off the bench
- NE Jackson Hoodlum alert
- Stop the fight!!!
- Crimestoppers alert
- MEMA Director retiring
- Nkemdiche hospitalized.
- From the mailbag
- The Ides of Trump are upon us
- Find this girl.
- Bert arises
- Yes, it's true!
- Hattiesburg restaurant fined over service dog
- Pamela Weaver moves from SOS to MDA
- More Nobodies sue Ashley Madison
- The ghost of Leon Lett returns
- No comment.
- Innovate Mississippi refiles lawsuit against accou...
- Robert Nkemdiche thinks NFL is sweeter.
- Developer sues Madison over tenant approvals.
- EDO bandits arrested
- More workers fired over water thefts
- NE JXN, look out for this car.
- Wild dogs kill six zoo animals
- Madison busts family drug ring
- Cochran gets fed $$$ for Kemper
- Animosity no longer a suspect.
- The Rez is going to the dogs.
- Madison supes oust Election Commission attorney, o...
- Read 'em & weep: PARC edition.
- What did he know & when did he know it?
- Gimme, gimme, gimme.
- MDE charges Clarksdale principal with cheating
- In IMS we trust
- Governor announces inauguration schedule.
- JPD arrests two city employees for water theft and...
- Rick Cleveland: Who will be the next Jerry Rice?
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- Legislature seeks to reduce spending (Updated)
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- If you see something, say something
- Wanted: TroubleMane Lawson. Armed & dangerous.
- Nkemdiche hurt
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- You can't make this up: Sovereign citizen edition
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- Silver alert. Update: FOUND!!!
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- Editorial: ACLU was wrong about radicalization and...
- Bert Case update
- That didn't take long. Dumb-Dom graduated.
- Banks calls meeting to decide representation for t...
- Feds indict doc for drugs (UDPATED)
- Time to rename Lynch Street.
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
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- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
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- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
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- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
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- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
Local Media & Blogs
- Clarion Ledger (Jackson, MS Gannett Newspaper)
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- Y'all Politics
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- Blog on Mississippi Sovereignty Commission
- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.