Monday, October 20, 2014

The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.


And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good, and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:

"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHREN"

And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.

But Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."

And the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay, even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once and for all
1 Samuel 4:3.  


Then there arose a false prophet from the House of Nutt. Although he was cast out by swine, the faithful's hope was restored as he trampled the Tiger,  vanquished the Raiders of Red, and slew the Cowboy in the House of Jerry.  There was much feasting as milk and honey flowed from the rivers of the  Delta to the lands of Elvis.  However, more sorrow smote the tribe as the prophet's promises proved false when the curse struck him with a madness that left him speechless and confused.  The prophet wandered at times on sidelines alone, quiet at times, babbling at others, while the faithful said oh no, we've been cursed yet again.  However, Les of Eden was not without mercy as he was indeed a just man and knelt to end the game.  1 Samuel 4:4.   

However, Les suffered the same fate as King Saul by showing mercy to the enemy. The Lord shewed his wrath and withdrew his favor from Les of Eden.  Les and his Edenites came back to the land of the Hotty-Toddys, boastful of their strength.  The Hotty-Toddy's drank the blood of many sacrifices to their false idols in their pagan temple called "The Grove" as they worked themselves into a frenzy.  The Edenites fell into a trap as their exalted general Zachariah slept while the Hotty's caught them unawares.  When Zachariah finally awoke, he slew many Hotty's but alas he fell in the end. The Hotty's made more sacrifices to their false idols as they feverishly danced naked  after they vanquished Les of Eden.
 

Yeah, I know. LSU lost twice, got not beat, but beat up by Auburn and Mississippi State. Ole Miss is number 3.  Les Miles favorite play is the toss dive.  LSU has a first-year starter at quarterback who plays like a first-year starter at quarterback.  However, Fournette is coming along but Ole Miss will stack that box and play "we dare you to throw".  Then there is the defense. Bo should have fun with the LSU defense as Nick Marshall and Prescott did earlier this season. 


Howevvvvvvver, this IS LSU-Ole Miss. The series is also a tough one from the LSU side. Don't believe me?

2001: Ole Miss win.
2002: LSU by 1.
2003: LSU by 3
2004: LSU by 3 despite a record-setting rushing performance by Broussard.
2005: LSU blowout because Ole Miss quits on Orgeron.
2006: LSU in OT
2007: LSU comes back in fourth quarter
2008: Ole Miss ass-kicking
2009: Les Miles can't tell time.
2010: LSU wins at the end of the game.

2011: The knee game.
2012: LSU needs 4th quarter comeback to win game.
2013: Ole Miss wins by 3.  

Having said that, I expect Ole Miss to win by at least two scores.  Tigers are playing a little better but Ole Miss has a better team and is motivated. Thus they will win by double digits. Hey, I know LSU will probably lose but I'm going down swinging.

8 comments:

Burke said...

Gracious in potential defeat. I see that Game Day will be there. How about Edwin Edwards for guest picker? I'd rather have Dr. John.

Anonymous said...

you never know...this is a rough week around my house and i have to bite my tounge a lot...

the tribe of hotty toddy has never gotten over the run of young william

and I wonder how many LSU tailgates will have a special setup with corndogs for their hotty toddy visitors (while enjoying fresh cooked gumbo, etouffe, or jambalaya themselves)

Anonymous said...

However, Freezus has returned to lead the Chosen Ones to glory, in accordance with prophecy. Thus begins a thousand year reign of glory for the once lost Tribe of Hotty Toddy.

Anonymous said...

Kkking fish I see u are going with ole miss ! Again you pick the racist ! No good white boy with a website!

Kingfish said...

12:45: you're trying to hard.

Anonymous said...

GTHOM

We ain't obsessed with TSUN said...

State is so much better than ole piss, I mean Mississippi, I mean TSUN, I mean the black bears. Tee hee! We just always get their goat with our endless line of nicknames. And the junction is so much better than the grove. I mean, it's newer and we built it from a blueprint! Why would you want to picnic beneath majestic trees when you could stand out in the open next to a sidewalk on the spot of an old street intersection? And gameday? Don't even get me started. TSUN (tee hee!) brought in some singer who knew nothing about football. We trumped the hell out of them with the giant celebrity and household name, Jonathan Papelbon. And don't forget which school made history by being the first to put a hashtag in the end zone! Never mind that the NCAA banned the practice! Ole piss wishes they had done it first! #HAILSTATE

Anonymous said...

What are the odds that 3:14 is diminutive in stature and has a bulbus head? #averageUMfratboy



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


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This is definitely a Beaver production.


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There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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