Wednesday, April 11, 2012

House likes paying $802,550 a year for erector sets.

Looks like the Department of Revenue will remain housed in a leaky metal building that looks like it was built using an erector set. The Mississippi Business Journal reported last week:

"Downtown boosters were stunned last Tuesday after the House Public Properties Committee declined to act on legislation to move the Mississippi Department Revenue to downtown’s Landmark Center, thus preventing a House vote on the measure already approved by the Senate....


The nearly 354,000 square-foot Landmark Center won top ranking last fall in a Cushman & Wakefield study of possible new homes for the DOR, an agency exiled 15 years ago from the Woolfolk Building to a massive warehouse in Raymond. Based on a purchase price of $14.1 million, the analysis determined that the state would save about $17 million over the cost of building from the ground up on property already owned by the state. The international commercial real estate firm based its cost analysis on a 40-year time frame.

Support for adopting the Landmark recommendation came from former Gov. Haley Barbour, who commissioned the Cushman & Wakefield examination, and Department of Finance & Administration executive director Kevin Upchurch. Cost savings to tax payers played prominently in their support, they say....."

Speculation promptly focused on Committee Chairman Tom Weathersby and Speaker Phillip Gunn. While some may think the chairman killed the bill because he spent all of his time anguishing over the charter schools bill, others wondered about the Speaker's role in the bill's death. The department currently resides at 1577 Springridge Road, which happens to be right next to Clinton, the home of the Speaker. If true, it is amusing the Speaker can stand up to Leland Speed and the Greater Jackson Chamber of Commerce but can't stand up to a redneck superintendent from North Mississippi. The article stated:

"No explanation for the quashing of the Landmark deal was forthcoming from state Rep. Tom Weathersby, a Florence Republican and chair of the Public Properties Committee. In an interview Wednesday. Weathersby would say only that “the committee did not see fit” to advance the measure.

The chairman also declined to say whether he and other committee members prefer a different site. “I’m not going to get into the better home business,” he said.

He reacted with irritation to critics’ claims that he refused to move the bill at the insistence of House Speaker Phillip Gunn, a Clinton Republican. “He doesn’t tell me what to do,” Weathersby said.

Gunn did not return a phone call that sought to find whether he had issued a no-go order...

Keeping the state headquarters currently based in Raymond out of downtown ups the odds it will end up in Clinton or possibly somewhere in Rankin County, said Ben Allen, president of Downtown Jackson Partners, a public private agency created to promote downtown.

“I think this was politics – pure and simple,” Allen said last Wednesday.

“We couldn’t believe it; we were stunned.”

Allen blamed Gunn and theorized he is pulling strings to put the DOR headquarters in Clinton.

Allen said reports that Gunn had ordered the bill’s pocketing began circulating in recent days. “The Speaker wouldn’t even meet with us about it,” Allen said, referring to himself and Commissioner of Revenue Ed Morgan.

Barton, senior VP and asset manager for Parkway, said he’s been told by people who are “as dialed in as you they come” that Gunn put the kabash on the deal.

“In this, it is more about the Speaker not wanting to take those jobs from Clinton,” Barton said of the city situated next to Raymond
..." Article

Now why exactly would anyone think the Speaker might intervene in such a deal? Is it just about several hundred jobs for Clinton or is it a deal for someone else? Let's take a look at the current lease. The building is 30,000 square feet and made out o metal. Looks like an erector set construction from the 1950s. Hinds County land records state Deviney Brothers, Inc own the building. Company documents state Robert Deviney is the President and Billy Deviney is the Treasurer. Marc Brand incorporated the company.

The state signed a contract on August 1, 1996 with Deviney Brothers, Inc to lease the building for $62,504 per month. 130,000 square feet were leased at $5.74 per sq. ft. and 2,200 square feet were leased at $1.75 per sq. ft. The contract price was $750,050 per year. The term of the contract was two years. The lease has been renewed several times since the original term. A five-year extension was signed in 2006 and expired on June 30, 2011.

A second lease was signed in 1998 as well and was extended for five years in 2006. It ran concurrently with the other lease and was renewed on July 2, 2011 and expires on June 30, 2014. The state pays $4,375 per month under this lease ($52,500 each year). The total amount the Department of Revenue pays to lease the erector set on 1577 Springridge Road is $802,550 annually since 1996.

What is interesting is while the leases stay the same, the county tax records show the assessed value of the property is declining. The assessed value decreased to $2.6 million in 2011 (The "true value" from the assessor's website was used.), from $3.161 million in 2001. The assessed value declined from $474,141 in 2001 to $390,770 this year.

$802,550 a year to lease an erector set to the state and a speaker to drive the black Trans am. Nice gig if you can get it.









57 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's very sad. That tin building is truly horrendous.

Ironghost said...

What's even more stupid is the fact that this was supposed to be a temp move 15 years ago. Gunn's really disappointed me so far.

Anonymous said...

My first question is who does the building belong to and why is the rent 800X what would be normal. Looking from here it appears to be an old National Guard building and most counties have one that could be used by State employee's.

Anonymous said...

It belongs to some very rich and powerful people. Deviney has been a powerhouse since Bill sr. tied in with South Central Bell doing all of their line work and have expanded into equiptment rental and other buss.

Anonymous said...

The WorldCom center should be a alternative

Anonymous said...

I can't speak to the rental price which seems high, but I actually like the idea of housing govt. agencies in low cost metal buildings. I've been out to that building many times and it's serviceable. The department functions just fine there. Compare that to the Employment Security Taj Mahal off 220 with the George Jetson round lounge or whatever it is. I think same could apply to schools as well. Jackson Prep is an erector set type construction and has done pretty well.

Anonymous said...

More shameless hypocrisy from the Doyen of Downtown as he complains about a building that would have been taken off the tax rolls with a purchase by the state.

Here AGAIN we have another example where the covey of Jackustan whiners speaks out of both sides of their collective yaps hoping that no one will notice.

One day the cake-and-eat-it-too mob carps and pisses about how the city is drowning in untaxable government owned properties (and therefore needs annual handouts from Mississippi taxpayers) while the very next they bawl and yelp when the state doesn't go ahead with another buy.

To the victor go the spoils. Get over it.

Curt Crowley said...

"No explanation for the quashing of the Landmark deal was forthcoming from state Rep. Tom Weathersby, a Florence Republican...."

Did anyone really expect an answer from Tommy Two Chins? He was a complete ass to the WJTV reporter who tried to ask him about this issue. That Weathersby arrogance will not tolerate questions. If you don't believe it, try asking the Godfather what it is, exactly, his useless kids do for the Rankin County School District that justifies their outrageous salaries. Just more of the same from the South Rankin Redneck Mafia.

The WJTV story is worth watching, as we get to see Speaker Disaster flee from the reporter like a little punk.

And the saddest part is that now, Weathersby *owns* Speaker Disaster.

Anonymous said...

11:41 - A couple things:
1. As a Jackson Prep Alum I am fully aware of the facilities at its campus. It is an absolute joke that you would try to compare the facilities at Jackson Prep to the Tax Commission Building. Since you state that you've been in the Tax Commission building, I will assume that you have not stepped a foot in Jackson Prep or on its property so try again on that one.
2. "The department functions just fine" Is that why one of the Tax Commission's senior staff gave a TV news journalist a tour this week and complained on gas leaks and the water being cut off on a regular basis?
3. Do you even have a clue to what kind of debt $800K per year will service? I didn’t think so but I'll tell you the tax payers are getting robbed blind for that kind of rent on a facility in the shape it's in.

You should really try to know your facts before making such ASSumptions.

Anonymous said...

Calmer heads need to prevail before someone suffers a near-stroke.

Curt Crowley said...

11:57am: "To the victor go the spoils. Get over it."

That's cute. Now do you have a response to KF's points about the amount of public funds that are being pissed away by the State renting the Clinton warehouse?

What is your position on the sneaky, back-door manner in which Tommy Two Chins and Speaker Disaster killed the bill? How do you feel about Speaker Disaster running from the WJTV reporter, or the Weathersby Family Capo lying to the reporter about why the bill was killed?

It is obvious that you don't like the downtown crew. It should be equally obvious to you that nobody gives a shit. So how about addressing the substantive issues raised in this post?

Ironghost said...

The building in Clinton is a cheap piece of junk. Let's be honest here, if we can.

Anonymous said...

Downtown Jackson Trash, they don't wish to be part of it!

Clinton has the World Com center doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

C'mon Curt. None of this TV scorn is going to cost Gunn or Weathersby any votes beyond the two in IG's Clinton house. The TV newsers can pump video like the WJTV coverage of a red-faced agitated Ben Allen into households everday and it won't change a damn thing. If anything Gunn and Weathersby are going to be applauded by far more of their constituents than those who disapprove. KF ain't making any substantive points beyond reporting on the amount of rent paid for the current facility and identifying who owns the property. So what? There is no obligation to prop up downtown Jackson businesses with the fruits of jobs ripped off from any other community in the metro area. This notion of entitlement and special treatment for downtown Jackson isn't even embraced by everyone living in the city.

Anonymous said...

The building was originally built to house parts being imported for the Grand Gulf Nuclear Station construction. It is not as bad a building as some of you make it out to be.
My question is why the Tax Commission should not be moved to the old Metro Center? Metro Center would be a perfect location because of its location near two Interstate Highways coupled with the fact that a lof of the business done at the facility is done by people who do not live in the area.

Anonymous said...

12:06. $800,000 will service a $26,000,000 debt. In other words, the state could buy the Landmark Building and pay a little over 1/2 what it is paying now, to lease that craphole.

I agree with Allen. This is politics, pure and simple.

11:57. If the choice is a state purchase, or a dark building increasing downtown vacancy to 38%, only a fool would shut the door.

500-600 employees and 1500 visitors a week impact downtown, but you are obsessed with Jackson bashing and nothing will ever change your bigotry.

Anonymous said...

Agree w/ 12:53. MetroCenter is the better location with superior access/egress.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunate that the Legislature had to be involved in this...(the proverbial one-car funeral procession botched again).

Anonymous said...

For those of you who don't keep up with this, Kingfish has done a good job of reporting on this issue since this came up last year. Here is a link on why the Landmark Center was chosen for DOR, http://kingfish1935.blogspot.com/2011/10/governor-barbour-recomments.html.

Anonymous said...

Allen just blew any vestige of hope for PiLT. The long shot is now a moon shot. Stupid move.

Schizo said...

What CAN be done to get this Weathersby crew knocked out of politics in this town? Lynn Weathersby escaped a Federal prosecution by the skin of his teeth by resigning the Board of Supervisors only to land in the Supt. of Education job with a Dr. in front of his name (anybody know where that PHD is from?) with family connections in the Legislature and scattered throughout the area. He rules without opposition since anyone who is qualified to run against him is already in the school system and gets threatened with retaliation if it becomes known they plan to run. It's absolutely ridiculous for educated citizens to put up with this kind of open corruption.

(hope I haven't said too much here, KF, but finding out about the Weathersby connections has really gotten my goat).

Anonymous said...

12:54, I don't know where you borrow your money, but if the state were to issue bonds, this $800,000 would support approximately $12million in debt, nowhere near the $26million you state.

But to more important issues - I don't think that KF's headline here is accurate. What the House did was not consider the proposal that was put in front of them - to move 500 employees from Clinton to downtown Jackson by the purchase of a soon to be empty downtown office space, bailing out the owners of not only that building but also the other downtown property owners.

The 'study' referred to was done at the urging of then MDA director Leland Speed, but in addition to his state position and closeness to the Governor, was also the biggest owner of downtown office space.

In my humble opinion - there is no need for these 500 employees to be in downtown Jackson, although the 'study' made that an evaluation criteria. And Gov Barbour included it in his recommendation to the legislature - shoring up downtown office rents by this move.

While I am sure Ben Allen and his downtown folks all would love to see the state try to save the area, it is not the responsibility of the state to do so. These employees could do what they do most anywhere - and if you polled the workers you would find that while they want to get out of the hellhole that they are in now, they don't want to move to downtown Jackson.

There are other options, and I'm sure that the new leaders of the state - in the House, Senate and the Governor's office - will look at them to find a suitable space for these employees.

I tend to agree with commenter above that state employees don't need to be in the finest buildings in the area (MDES is a fine example). The do need better facilities than the 'temporary' relocation of the Dept of Revenue to this metal building - but they don't need to be in the Landmark Building on Capitol Street, opening envelopes and shuffling papers.

Anonymous said...

3:10, the state was stealing the class a building. $38.10/foot, including parking. The study was forced due to the "good ole boy" methodology used in determining a new $50MM building on Lakeland Drive was the "best deal for the state".

Get out more. See how other states treat offices and their capital city. Louisiana has moved damn near ALL of their state offices downtown, and look at what has happened in Baton Rouge. Mississippi is the odd ball here.

Anonymous said...

3:51 - I don't think the comparison is the building 'downtown' or the $50million taj majal on Lakeland. I think that would be a worse tradgedy - so to that end we agree.

And comparing Baton Rouge and Jackson, implying that moving ''damn near all' of their state offices downtown has created the difference between BR and Jackson is ridiculous. You and your twin Ben can get over that fairy tale.

There is a proper place for certain state offices in the capitol center, and there are other offices that have no business downtown. Of the 500 or so employees of the Dept Revenue, fewer than five have any business with the rest of the state government employees of other agencies. People having a need to see employees of Dept Revenue that are traveling from other parts of the state generally aren't also going to visit the Dept Env Quality, MDOT, or any other state agency on their travels to "jackson" to meet with DOR employees.

A safe, quality building should be provided for this function of state government. It does not need to be downtown - and the reason for locating it should NOT be to 'save downtown Jackson'.

Anonymous said...

April 12, 2012 12:54 PM, Jackson's high vacancy rate isn't Mississippi's problem to solve.

Anonymous said...

I had such high expectations for Gunn. Nothing but disappointment so far.

Anonymous said...

4:53, This appears to be much more than a "Gunn" decision, despite KF's and the MBJ's implication. Gunn - and others - decided against buying a building downtown, taking it off the tax rolls, and becoming a real estate leason - yes, it fails to mention that the DOR only needs 150,000 square feet of this 350,000 sq ft building; the rest would be leased by the state if it is bought.

Also, the widely mentioned "study" suggested leasing this building. But it appears that the investors in the building decided that they no longer wanted to lease the 150,000 square feet to the state and they withdrew that offer; leaving only a purchase option.

Can we all say together - BAIT AND SWITCH. But do the downtown advocates (or, for that matter, MBJ or KF) bother to give us these little details? No, only hear that the House killed the bill to buy the building.

The original bill filed in the Senate included a lease or a purchase possibility, but it was amended in the Senate - at the last minute - to purchase only. At that point all good thinking folks decided it was time to rethink what should be done with the DOR facility.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see the speaker's lackey (5:11) earning his six figure salary as a public servant by defending the speaker's action or lack thereof. And to top it off, he's working after 5. I feel better about my tax dollars already.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, 5:21, I'm not a state employee, including the speaker's. I do not receive any money from the state, much less six figures. And I almost always work after 5.

Good try, but many folks have knowledge of what's going on with this deal, and declining to purchase this building was supported by many different parts of state government.

Kingfish said...

At least we are having a debate about it on this site. Which is more than I can say for the House.

Keep in mind each year they "study" the problem, another $800 grand goes into someone's pocket for that derelict building.

Anonymous said...

The only objective of the downtown advocates April 12, 2012 5:11 PM is to relieve taxpayers of their dollars to fund a pipe dream.

Allen is pissed because the "pure and simple" politics he and others played to kill the Lakeland building didn't have sufficient legs to feather the taxpayer funded wealth redistribution nest they schemed to feather downtown via, you got it, "pure and simple" politics.

Anyone who believes Allen is some player of virtue who was truly surprised by these new events should go all-in in on the next Mecca aka Farish Street.

Anonymous said...

Like the 60-second debate they didn't have in the Senate about the immigration bill Kingfish? Like that bill which has exponentially light years more support statewide than this bill to unilaterally and forcibly steal jobs from one city in order to give the economic benefits of those jobs to the downtown debt preverts WHO HAVE NEVER DELIVERED ON AN ECONOMIC PROMISE?

Like that Kingfish?

Anonymous said...

At 12:06: Perhaps your Jackson Prep degree should have taught you to read and comprehend better. I did not compare the Tax building to Jackson Prep. I merely said that because it's a metal building doesn't in an of itself make it a bad thing. I then mentioned that the same could be said for schools. I live in Madison county and each new school they build is a monument to the architect with so much over abundance of features, all at significant costs to the taxpayers. Jackson Prep was indeed started in 3 metal buildings. I know because I was there. And I will further contend that their graduates then performed just as well as they do now with tremendously upgraded facilities.

Anonymous said...

This is so laughable, if it weren't so sad. Each commentor has just a semblance of the truth, which is enough for some to call it THE TRUTH. Once again, it appears the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And the poor we will have with us forever.

In other words, nothing changes in Mississippi. Not much anyways.

Razor

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will go to the Ethics Commission. We do have one, don't we?

Anonymous said...

The Dept of Finance and Admin should be ashamed to allow this to continue, but then again the big wigs there probably hunt with Billy, who is chairman of the wildlife commission. This is complete bullshit, but then again what do you expect from these good ol boys in the legislature. $800k for 15 yrs, what is that $12m in Billy and Bruce's pockets. Where are Stacy Pickering and Jim Hood? Oh yeah they are hunting Billy's high fence deer farm.

Anonymous said...

This has everything to do with Gunn bowing to his financial supporters. The study done was independent and very fair. The state was getting a great deal on this building.

Kim Wade said...

I can't read the print on these docs. But a leak can be repaired. The landlord has a pretty good incentive in this case to make those tyupe of repairs. But very little if any money is set aside for on going maintenance and repairs on the building the state owns any way. This a battle between people who want the tax commission in the Land Mark building in on Captitol street. That location is a only a location for the owners of the the Landmark building. The parking for public and the employees is non existent. The Tax Commission should move to the old Delphi plant in Clinton or Metro Mall on highway 80. Down town Jackson is not the answer under any circumstance

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will go to the Ethics Commission. We do have one, don't we?

What would be the complaint?

Kingfish said...

Click on the enlarge button. they will fill up the entire screen.

Anonymous said...

The old MetroCenter Mall seems to make a lot of sense for a new location. What am I missing here?

Anonymous said...

10:47 parking is included in the lease, in the parking decks right there. The numbers are compelling. $38/foot purchase of a $250/foot construction Class A space.

Anonymous said...

There is no compelling need nor requirement to move the employees downtown.

Anonymous said...

3:58 please tell that TO CUSHMAN AND WAKEFIELD, WHO DO THESE STUDIES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. you are just a local yokel with a navel and an opinion.

Anonymous said...

Cushman and Wakefield determined that Mississippi taxpayers should be forced to provide more welfare and another bailout for downtown Jackson?

Don't think so.

Anonymous said...

I think Metro Center would be good for the amount of space there for the state and city to utilize. The theft will stop once the department stores are gone.jackson mall has done great for offices and way cheaper for the taxpayers

Curt Crowley said...

There are some people who are going to oppose ANYTHING coming to downtown. If the property was free, and the State got a billion dollar signing bonus, and every stall had a complimentary gold-plated bidet, there would still be somebody on here bitching about how they shouldn't move downtown.

Anonymous said...

It's not just Baton Rouge, it's other thriving capitol cities that understand the capitol city of a State is important.

When a State is trying to entice new enterprise and impress , you want to bring them to a Governor's mansion and State Capitol building in a dying town? REALLY?

You want to build crap with pretty facades when you have buildings with good bones that would be too expensive to duplicate today?

Some of you folks know the cost of everything and the value of nothing!

Anonymous said...

The revisionist penning editorials at the Mississippi Business Journal needs to actually read Haley Barbour's letter to the legislature dated Sept 30, 2011.

Barbour recommends leasing the Landmark Center NOT the purchasing of the building. The cost savings outlined in Barbour's letter are also based on leasing not purchasing.

Facts are inconvenient things but the bottom line is that Haley Barbour DID NOT RECOMMEND PURCHASING the Landmark Center.

Carry on carrying water.

Anonymous said...

Facts are inconvenient things but the bottom line is that Haley Barbour DID NOT RECOMMEND PURCHASING the Landmark Center.

Anonymous said...

The same day of Governor Barbour's letter to the Legislature, the Director of DFA, Kevin Upchurch, recommended in a letter to Governor Barbour, that the C and W report evaluated that the lease OR PURCHASE of the Landmark building was the "best deal" for the state. Either one was, and he was asking the state to do either one.

The owners of the building pulled the option of leasing off the table. Consequently, the "other" recomendation of outright purchase, as determind by the study, and at the recommendation of the Director, Kevin Upchurch, was pursued.

Anonymous said...

The Landmark owners knew that the Governor advised moving forward on a lease. This last minute change of heart to only sell is a ploy to unload upon Mississippi a building at a price that the owners likely will not realize on the open market privately.

Anonymous said...

This really shouldn't be this hard. But, apparently, when a politician's ego gets out of hand, and he tries to build his own little castle, the game is on.

If an idea THAT stupid could get as much traction as the Lakeland location did, then the opportunities are limitless for a more clever attempts at duping the public, political arm flexing and profit.

We DO want to pay for all the wasted time in travel back and forth to report to the legislature on revenues and attend meetings at the Capitol. We don't want to use empty downtown space because, oops, that will foil some agendas as well...if Jackson doesn't fail, some will be proven wrong, some property owners won't have their crappy buildings considered, and there's the vying for influence between agencies that's always fun.

Do instead put state agency heads out where their comings and goings aren't so noticed. That way, they don't even have to show up. They can more easily be at or on the way to a non-existent meeting wherever the person trying to find them isn't.

We do want to pay for studies that gather dust because we certainly can't trust experts even when we pay them and especially if they are " from someplace else". What in the hell does someone who has made a life out of learning about something know that we don't intuitively know?

Anonymous said...

The cat is out of the bag.

The health of downtown Jackson is not good and not getting better.

For years now the proponents have freely extolled about the great goings on downtown.

The fear of more vacancy makes it clear that the picture of economic vitality is a myth.

The media are too stupid to know the difference and too lazy to test the broad brushing for truth.

The disconnect is now exposed.

There is no mass influx back into downtown Jackson.

Anonymous said...

8:00 have you been drinking? WTF is your point in these ramblings?

Anonymous said...

Very disappointed in Speaker Gunn and Committee Chair Weathersby. Sleazy, local politics. Thought Gunn was going to be a different breed of politician. Nothing wrong with these guys having differing opinions about the DOR building deal, but not to even let it be discussed in committee? Not to let it be voted on by the full House after being recommended by Gov. Barbour, the independent study, the DOR's director, the DFA director and being passed by the Senate? Really sickening.

And remember this is not about moving an agency to downtown Jackson, its about moving it "back" downtown where it was for so many years before being "temporarily moved for 3 years" while the Woolfolk Bldg was being renovated (Now they've been gone 15 years.)

Further, let me say that we deal with a lot of first time visitors from out of state and by and large they all want to stay downtown and see how the State and City value their "front door" to the Capitol City. And yes the DOR move would have been a huge boost to downtown, no doubt. Folks, the core of the apple has to be healthy, or it will affect all surrounding areas eventually. Look around the country and you see more and more downtowns coming back to life, because they understand the importance. We will be #50 in figuring that out with leaders like Gunn and Weathersby.

Anonymous said...

FACT. Barbour did not recommend purchasing the Landmark building.

If you are upset at Gunn for not letting matters out of committee then surely you must be equally upset at Reeves for not allowing bills out of committee in the Senate.

Where is your outrage and illness over the repurposing of the Woolfolk building?

The core of the apple has been rotting for 25-30 years and it has not inhibited economic health nor growth of the surrounding areas in the least.



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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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