Thursday, July 29, 2010

Absentee landlords and what they can do to a nice neighborhood










Photo gallery

This "home" is near Jackson Academy in Northeast Jackson. It is owned by Gulf States Investments, which in turn is owned by Richard Clay Perry. He purchased the home on March 3, 2006. This home has been a sore spot among his neighbors for over two years after the home was completely gutted and not repaired (see the linked photo gallery.). The yard was neglected and only kept up by neighbors who were tired of the eyesore and merely wanted to protect their property values. The home was completely unsecure as the back door and gate were wide open, a lock on one door was busted off the frame, and all other doors were open as well. Mr. Perry's wife, Madison Realtor Lacy Perry, listed the home for sale last year but took it off the market.

Several neighbors complained to Mr. Perry about his property after several burglaries in their subdivision forced them to be more vigilant. A wide open home that looks like a crack house on the inside drew their attention. Mr. Perry informed them he was unable to work on the home due to his partner's bankruptcy. However, Mr. Perry's claim does not coincide with the facts. His partner, Robert Johnson (not the former chief), filed a petition for chapter 7 bankruptcy in August 2009. It was discharged in February 2010. An examination of the schedules reveals the home nor deed of trust issued by Madison County Bank on the property was included in the bankruptcy. Mr. Johnson's name does not appear on any corporate documents filed with the Secretary of State but does appear on a 2006 deed of trust as a partner and in the bankruptcy schedule as a 50% owner of Gulf States Investments. Deed, Deeds of Trust, Bankruptcy schedule, Petition

A crew of workers appeared soon after the neighbors called Mr. Perry and began demolishing the home three weeks ago. Several pictures will show the removal of several features: shingles, the front door and its surroundings, windows A large dumpster sits in the driveway. However, Mr. Perry never bothered to obtain a demolition permit from the city. Such permits are required, along with an asbestos report, before a property owner can demolish a home. They only costs $100 and are issued in less than a week after an application is submitted all required documents are included with the application. The city issued a stop-work order the same day the demolition started. JJ called the city this morning and was told Mr. Perry still has not applied for a demolition permit. One must wonder what would look better: a home that is gutted but looks fine on the outside or an overgrown lot with a concrete slab. Very classy.

I spoke to Mr. Perry today and the conversation was very short. He informed me he had obtained the necessary permits and was waiting on an asbestos permit from the city. When I informed him the city told me no permit applications were filed and that there was no asbestos permit but he had to file a report. He became more belligerent and said it had been tied up in litigation for a long time as his partner was in bankruptcy. When I then informed him his partner was only in bankruptcy for six months, he cut me off, said I didn't know the behind the scenes mess involving the home, and that he wasn't responsible for the crime in Jackson. He then hung up on me.

Oh the irony. Does anyone want to guess where Clay and Lisa Perry live? Reunion, of course. Does anyone wonder what would happen if they tried to pull this crap in Madison? The Queen may be many things to many people, but everyone would agree any landowner who treated a home as Mr. Perry has this one in Northeast Jackson would be in serious trouble and it wouldn't have dragged on for over two years.

The neglect of this property is a perfect example of why Jackson has declined. Absentee landowners out of sight and out of mind are as much a threat to Jackson as are the criminals everyone fears. Jackson should crack down on landowners such as Mr. Perry and Mr. Johnson. If nothing else, Jackson should finish what Mr. Perry started: tear down the house and then send Mr. Perry the bill or place a lien on his fine Reunion home. Its a safe bet there are some attorneys in the neighborhood who would handle filing that lien for free. Some will question why I wrote this post but in my opinion, if NE Jackson residents want to keep it from going the way of other parts of Jackson, then we need to start speaking up about blight or other issues whenever we see them.

82 comments:

Anonymous said...

Link to the photo gallery hosed KF.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying that people in NE Jackson don't speak up about blight?

Kingfish said...

Not at all. Just time to take it to a new level.

Anonymous said...

I live on that street. The house is, indeed, partially demolished. Roof decking removed, and since the rains, the ceilings have collapsed. The home across the street was robbed, and there was some evidence that someone had been squatting in that home. That bum needs to get his property cleaned up NOW. Thanks KF for letting us know just who it is that is ruining our neighborhood. You listening, Mr. Perry. We know who you are.

Anonymous said...

Where is that take back neighborhoods dude on tv when you need him?

KaptKangaroo said...

Well done. I also think that keeping their feet to the fire is absolutely appropriate. Just go to North Jackson, just beyond Fondren and you will see the same thing. NE Jackson needs to stay on top of this. We love driving through the older neighborhoods and they are lovely until, someone such as this very instance, decides to bring down the property values and start the decline with crime, vermin, etc. Shame on you Mr. Perry. You behaving just like the slum lords I knew from Brookhaven who operated off State Street. Outta' Sight Outta' Mind and NIMBY have taken on a new definition by this post.

Anonymous said...

Let me make it clear to everyone reading that people all over NEJax are complaining about blight and houses like that which KF is featuring.

We've been complaining for YEARS. To Weill, Allen and Reno. But little to nothing has changed.

Our streets are screwed up. Our water pipes fail as part of daily life. Many of us only see JPD when they've been called as they don't patrol these neighborhoods.

Jackson is bankrupt. Flat busted. NE Jackson is the cash cow. You don't feed cash cows. You only milk them.

Anonymous said...

KF,
Good article. These type situations really suck for the neighbors and I'm with you except for the fact that once Mr. Perry took some action, he was immediately stopped due to unneccessary red tape. After 25 years in the construction / real estate business, I can tell you these City's are out of control with this exact kind of bullshit. Its just another way to collect fees and justify some sorry ass inspectors job.

A demo permit is the most worthless f__g thing in the world.

Anonymous said...

If you still live in a decaying city like Jackson where the tax base erodes faster than the rainwater runs off then you only have yourself to blame.

Anonymous said...

So how many blighted properties have you bought and refurbished after going through all the red tape? Give us a listing of the property taxes you pay in NE Jackson. Or anywhere for that matter.

Anonymous said...

I live just around the corner from this house and pass it twice a day. Didn't know what the story was....thanks for posting this.

Kingfish said...

So you want airborne asbestos or kids playing around in ruins that might have it. Think there might be a reason for requiring an asbestos report? Or getting approval to tear down a house?

Sol Rosenberg said...

A bit of internet browsing shows Richard "Clay" Perry is a proud local business owner/contractor who no doubt avails himself of Jackson residents' dollars at any opportunity he gets. How about the fact that Lacy is a realtor and has her stamp all over that house? Isn't there a canon of ethics for realtors? Let's show a little reciprocal love to Clay and be sure to show his (or more likely, his Daddy's) tile and surface company, Surface Solutions, the same admiration and respect he shows NE Jackson.
http://www.manta.com/c/mmf97mp/surface-solutions-inc
For shame...his and Lacy's constituents in the PTA at Jackson Academy would be so disappointed at their lack of honor and lack of consideration for others. It's not the neighborhood's or the neighbors' fault you got hosed on that P.O.S. house, Clay. Man up and do the right thing. Enough with the lies, have the house taken down to the ground yesterday, clean up the lot, do it the right way and move on from your mistake.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps it wasn't clear to whom I was referring so I'll repost.

KINFISH: So how many blighted properties have you bought and refurbished after going through all the red tape? Give us a listing of the property taxes you pay in NE Jackson. Or anywhere for that matter.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the opposing party shows up. Taxes aside, I know he pays for this type of exposure of deadbeats like Mr. Perry out of his own pocket. You want to reimburse him?

Anonymous said...

It is an honest question to KF. If he rents, then presumably his landlord factors that into his rent.

To 10:53, if KF will tell us what he makes in advertising, then maybe somebody will pay him the difference.

Kingfish said...

I've probably financed half a billion dollars over the years. that includes being an expert on appraisals, underwriting and did I mention mortgage and real estate fraud.

Kingfish said...

The sad part is all his neighbors wanted him to do was secure the house and cut the damn grass but that was too much trouble apparently. They really didn't care it was gutted.

Anonymous said...

These pictures are sad, and here it lies so close to JA. Would this happen in another municipality? I really doubt it one of the main reasons it has got so out of control.. The council members waste time on changing street names, talking about what ifs to just keep them from doing anything. We all make fun of Stokes but he is the only one on this council that constantly advocates his ward regarding abandoned homes and businesses and it puts the children at risk! What does that say, but we would rather be placated by egotistical council members why they do nothing than agree with Stokes because that is not fashionable. That is sad because nothing is being done and day by day it just gets worse. It is going to take the citizens that reside in these wards to keep these guys on the right track and if these council members do not show up the citizens have got to demand their resignation and as a concerned group find someone willing to take over as a council member for the good of that ward and not an egotistical check to supplement the salary.

Anonymous said...

One needs to look no further than Chuck Labamba's dog and pony show yesterday to understand that Jackson is a lost cause unless all residents wake up and force a complete overhaul of city government via the ballot box. The clowns who've been elected are not interested in improving Jackson; only in capitalizing on their positions for personal gain. NE Jacksonians can hoot and holler all you want, but until things get worse in Jackson, they aren't going to get any better. Basically, that tax base that keeps the city limping by on life support is going to have to dry up and starve the rest of the city before the status quo changes. The votes just aren't there for NE Jackson to do it alone.

Anonymous said...

The Jackson tax base has been eroding for two decades. The rate of decline is increasing. When you lose your neighborhoods you lose your city. People aren't leaving because they are mad about the lack of watering holes and boutiques selling at big markups downtown.

Anonymous said...

So if his kids go to JA and he owns the property why don't he and the misses move in the house then? Oh, that's right- not good enough for those REUNION wanabbes...

Anonymous said...

So if his kids go to JA and he owns the property why don't he and the misses move in the house then?


Spend much time in Jackson? If so, you should be able to answer your own question. :)

Anonymous said...

KF, when the property was listed do you know how much they were asking? How much did Perry and his partner pay for the property?

Kingfish said...

Listed twice, $105,000 and $70,000.

chris myers said...

this not only applies to houses but also to commercial properties downtown and elsewhere. too much property is owned by people who care nothing about its improvement.

does the city need to change its laws in this respect? if so, how can we move forward to make this happen?

Anonymous said...

The house right next door was listed around 280,000. Others have appraised for around 215-245,000. So this sits on a street with some nice homes on it.

Anonymous said...

House down the street, 2 years younger, almost exactly the same square footage, lists today for $149k.

Don't know about the house in question but the homes in that area (Brecon, Hillview, Bellewood) have been plagued with foundation issues from the clay.

If they couldn't move the property @ $70k in that neighborhood, which is still a good one, then there must have been serious problems with the structure. The neighbors have every right to be pissed off.

Anonymous said...

7:51 has it nailed down.....It all starts with the idiots that run the City....They want a paycheck and dont want to do anything in return. The City is run by a Circus Show and it will never get better until we have someone step up to the plate and get it done....

Anonymous said...

The City is run by a Circus Show and it will never get better until we have someone step up to the plate and get it done....

That is not going to happen.

Anonymous said...

To 8:40 am - Reunion wannabe????? You are not a wannabe if you live there moron!! And by the way. A majority of the JA PTA don't live in Jackson anyway.

Anonymous said...

Oh My- did I step on your toes 11:38- I am assuming you also live in Peyton Place aka Reunion! How are those key club parties going???

Anonymous said...

No - I don't live there but it seems like you are a little jealous of those who have the opportunity to call it home. It is a nice place with nice upstanding homeowners. Maybe you wouldn't fit in.

Oh - Not real sure what a key club party is.

Anonymous said...

The key club is the Reunion Swingers Club! Part of the NE Jackson group moved out there and are continuing the tradition.

I don't think I'd raise my children out there.

KaptKangaroo said...

I believe this subject was brought up over lunch somewhere with a bunch of anonymous folks. Bawhahahahahaha!

KK

Anonymous said...

It was meant as an honest question. I'm not implying that the owner doesn't need to address the property, however, it appears by your response, that you don't have any practical experience on which to draw your conclusions. Unless the half a billion dollars you loaned out was yours. Or your personal property values could be impacted in some manner. However, not owning any property, that wouldn't apply.

A good analogy would be to stand in someone else's pasture, grab the tail of the closet steer, look up in it's ass and attempt to explain to the owner how to marinade the steaks. In both instances, bullshit is all you are going to see from that somewhat limited perspective.

Suggestion: Buy some property and become a real owner in the community, with the added benefit of enhancing your credentials as an expert. IMHO.

I like the site, but I don't feel the same for the cheerleaders on the sidelines nearly so much as I do the players on the field.

Anonymous said...

Exactly what is your honest question? Exactly what are YOUR qualifications.?

Because all I'm reading is some bullshit artist who believes that Kingfish shouldn't have even brought this matter up because he doesn't pass some piss ant acid test you cooked up to somehow sully his work.

Anonymous said...

2:25PM, yes there is alot of bullshit and you of all should know that. Too bad there are not any balls hanging there because you would definetly need to grabl a hold of them.

Anonymous said...

Have y'all seen Chane's Reunion Swingers Club tote bag? Perfect for those overnight trips....

Anonymous said...

2:25- any Jackson resident is a player on the field when it comes to a house sitting gutted and unlocked for that long while the homeowner ignores requests to do something about it. Doesn't matter if you've ever been a landlord personally before or not, you can still want to stand up for Jackson and these neighbors.

You don't have to own land somewhere first "to enhance your credentials" to know this is wrong and to demand better. That's a stupid point, question, whatever it is.

John Anderson said...

Enough with the absentee landlord stuff. Let's get back on the subject of the Reunion, umm, "neighborhood socials."

Anonymous said...

I know the Perry's. While I agree there is no excuse for the condition Clay has left this house in, there is more to this story. Yes, they live in Reunion, however they are not part of the orgies. They are a young couple that are struggling in this current economy just like many of you out there. And no, rich parents didn't get them where they are

KaptKangaroo said...

I agree, lets talk about those swinging good times and I ain't talkin' about dancin'! Get on with it, someone spill some beans. Is this Key Club an open event or only available to residents and invited guests? What are the dues? Does a membership come with a poofy pink pair of handcuffs?

Anonymous said...

And can we enroll Kenny Stokes in the club so he leaves Jackson? Perhaps a 500 lb. hottie.....

Anonymous said...

Speaking of hotties, have you SEEN Lacey? OMG!

Anonymous said...

She is sizzlin' hot!!!

Kingfish said...

All right goofballs. Obviously some people are having some fun here. In no way, shape, form, fashion, statement, sign, or innuendo, is the Perrys linked to this other stuff y'all are talking about. I don't think we will be seeing them in Maison Weiss anytime soon if you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

Not fun, but facts are facts. Lacy (not LACEY) is DDG. Hubby needs to pinch himself. Those baby blues are a KILLER.

Anonymous said...

So KF are you saying we can't make fun of the beautiful people, wait, I mean the Jones's? I thought we were talking about swinging a wrecking ball to this atrocious eyesore. Then I realized this was but a ploy to introduce the swinging life to this blog. Hmmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

Boo hoo hoo!! Quit whining. You people are acting like a bunch of sick human beings. The town you live in is a dump!!! Quit blaming Jackson's crime problems on one house. I guess there was never a robbery in North Jackson until this house on Hillview became vacant. Whatever -give me a break. Trying to accomplish ANYTHING in Jackson is absloutely impossible. Yea - one day this house will probably FINALLY get torn down or fixed - that is if it doesn't fall down first while Mr. Perry tries to get through Jackson's red tape to get a permit or anything else from them.

I know this family and only by their hard work and dedication have they been able to make a living for themselves. They were not born into money nor did "daddy" build a business for them to run.

Kingfish - whoever you are - your opinion does not matter and the fact that you get your jollies by character defamation and slander is appalling to me. One day you will meet your match and you will pay for your actions..... It may not be in this lifetime but obviously you don't walk daily with the Prince of Peace or you would not have this garbage blogspot.... so remember HELL IS A HOT PLACE!!!!!

The nerve of you to use one person's misfortune for your gain shows exactly what kind of person you are. Mr. Johnson, along with many other contractors, did not make it through this country's economic downfall. What right does that give you to post his personal information. IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT!!!

Yes, Mrs. Perry is a beautiful woman - inside and out. So is Mr. Perry. These families work hard, raises their family in a Christian environment and tries to do the best they can. This house has been a horrible investment from the beginning. They tried to rent, sell - all to no avial. It was a nightmare from day 1. Hopefully he will have some success in getting the correct paperwork to get this nightmare overwith - for him and the "JA Community".

Speaking of JA - As a Christian School - I would not expect any of the fellow PTA members to judge him like you are because they are supposed to be just that - Christians.

I will pray for you daily and I hope that at some point you see the error of your ways in the mess that is carried on on this website.

Anonymous said...

re: 7:25pm
uh, what does all that have to do with not mowing the lawn and locking the place up?

KaptKangaroo said...

Um, 7:25PM, do you think you have a bit of angst going on? Let me go open a dump on the lot next to you. You wouldn't object would you? I mean if I tore down my home and crapped every day there, piling and piling, you would be alright with it right? I live in the burbs and it goes on here too. I would hope you would at least hand me a sliver of paper.

KaptKangaroo said...

Hey 7:25 go to hell. I got a video that gives you a visual of my opinion of your opinion.

Anonymous said...

They must all be at the Key Club meeting tonight. It started at 8PM. Go get your high heels on 7:25.

Anonymous said...

Maison Weiss???? Whatever - they fly to Miami to shop at Bal Harbor -who would waste money at Maison Weiss?

Kapt Kangaroo - something got you flustered? wow - such language!!! ha ha!!

KaptKangaroo said...

remember...i'm anonymous....

Kingfish said...

1. No one has blamed Mr. Perry or Mr. Johnson for crime in that area. However, it is no secret blighted properties do contribute to crime though. Several residents were concerned his property was being used as by thieves to case the area and determine when local residents were home.

2. The ONLY task asked of Mr. Perry was he secure his home and cut the grass. That's it. No one cared about shutters, paint schemes, or door styles. They only cared that he keep his home secure so no one could use it. In exchange for these reasonable and very modest concerns, Mr. and Mrs. Perry was rude to several neighbors, refused to listen to them, and refused to address their concerns.

3. This project is not help up by a mountain of paperwork. Most cities require demolition permits. Period. The process in Jackson requires the following: $100 fee, an application, an asbestos report, and pictures, title, and identification showing you own the home. It takes typically two days for an approval to be granted.

These are pretty reasonable guidelines. I damn sure wouldn't want someone hiring someone to tear down my home as a malicious prank because the city didn't ask for title and ID. Asbestos report. Yeah, thats a hardship. We don't want kids playing nearby that might get exposed to it.

4. I will repeat: all anyone asked of Mr. Perry was he lock up his home and cut the grass. It was Mr. Perry that decided to go tear down the home without applying for a permit. There has been no slander or libel on this website towards Mr. Perry. He was contacted as was the city.

Most claims made by Mr. Perry did not coincide with the facts. He claimed it was tied up for a long time in litigation. that was not true as his partner was in bankruptcy only six months and did not list the home in the BK. One must also ask if the home was tied up in litigation for sooooo long as he claimed, why was he able to get a loan on it a year earlier. banks generally do not lend money on homes in litigation. As for putting his partner's private information online, you idiot, it was PUBLIC RECORD. When you file bankruptcy, it becomes public record since you are seriously uninformed.

Don't pull that Bible-thumping crap on me. All I did was write about a home nearby that is in a state of serious neglect and there are concerns about its nature. Mr. Perry has refused to address the concerns of his neighbors. He lied to me and others. Lied? Yes. WHILE HIS PARTNER WAS IN BANKRUPTCY HIS WIFE HAD IT LISTED THROUGH DECEMBER. Yet you are going to attack me using the Bible and saying you will pray for me. What you can do with your prayers is take them and shove them up your ass.

Kingfish said...

11:19: you missed the joke. Completely.

Anonymous said...

Public record or not - the fact that you posted the entire document was uncalled for. Nobody needed to see that. That was personal and only a scumbag like you would do something so low.

Obviously it was not a very good joke.

Anonymous said...

Compared to the drug dealers and the illegal personal care homes I've been faced with on my street, an empty house is a blessing.

Anonymous said...

11:25, don't want people to see your financials and other business... DON'T FILE BANKRUPTCY..

even most morons can understand that

Anonymous said...

You are way off base. It's not my bankurptcy. I just choose to live a morally correct lifestyle and I see that people like Kingfish or anyone else who constantly stirs up a stink are not worth the trouble they cause. Live how you want and say what you want but, as a post earlier points out, HELL IS A HOT PLACE!!! Good luck in that!! Especially after the "you can stick your prayers up your a**" comment.. wow - that was brave.

Anonymous said...

To all of you trashing Reunion and insinuating all sorts of nasty things: I take great offense to that. I live in Reunion with my husband and I don't have a clue what you are talking about. It is a very nice neighborhood and a great place to raise a family. Your petty jealousy is pitiful, really. You should be ashamed.

Anonymous said...

Man, I hope there are some houses to rent in Reunion! I need to move there ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Who is dogging Reunion? All I see is posts indicating there is some extra contra-marital sex going on there.

Anonymous said...

7:55--

You are correct. You don't have a clue. Your cluelessness is pitiful, really. You should be ashamed of trying to admonish us for something which you know nothing of.

If I were you, I'd get to know my neighbors a little bit better. Or not. That's your choice. But the joke about Reunion being a swingers haven has been going on for years. Y-E-A-R-S. Get over it and nobody said you were a member of the key club.

Anonymous said...

8:41, I have lived in Reunion for over three years. I know my neighbors very well. None of them are swingers. They are my friends. We are all way too old to engage in the behavior you are describing. You have no idea what you are talking about. I am glad I'm not a sniveling, cowardly, jealous rumormonger like you.

Anonymous said...

Jealousy over Reunion?! Please..I live in a much nicer subdivision and had no comment until idiots who accuse folks of being envious of living in Reunion spout off. We did not even look there. The houses are too small.

Anonymous said...

Imelda,

Yep, you live in a gem of a subdivision. I am especially jealous of the clear cutting the developers did on Phase I. All those ugly ole trees were an eyesore. So glad they're gone. And do not get me started on the eerie sense of Stepford I get when I visit. So yeah, you got a good thing going there. The key club is just bonus.

Anonymous said...

Come on people! Everybody knows that the real swingin' goes on in Annandale...not leftoveReunion.

Anonymous said...

8:45, I do not understand people like you, who write nasty anonymous comments on a blog. I didn't develop the place, we just bought a house here. Sorry if that offends you. And if you think it is like Stepford here, then just stay away. Life is too short, as far as I am concerned, to be around people like you. Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Never said I was offended, I'm actually having a good time watching you implode. Take care, and be careful over there after dark. You just never know who might be lurking around in your bushes....or in your neighbor's den.

Anonymous said...

We are talking about the cookie cutter row homes in Madison right? I came from Orange County, CA and found that place to be "too keeping up with the jone's look at what I got, nana boo boo."

KaptKangaroo said...

From my recent Swingers Anonymous meeting...

"Hi, I'm (name ommitted) and I'm a swinger. I swing from trees, I swing on swings, I swing from contraptions in other peoples bedrooms. I've enjoyed swinging for years. Litterally. But I have recently discovered that my swinging days are done. You see, I have a hemorrhoid. And it prevents me from sitting in a swing. At this point, I need to break the cycle of swinging addiction. I mean I'm not going to lose my family over it, my significant other continues to swing, I just now have to live with being a pusher. I need help to make this transition. This is my story."

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Imelda, what were the specifics of the warnings your grandmother gave you about the snobs in Jackson?

Anonymous said...

"Yet you are going to attack me using the Bible and saying you will pray for me. What you can do with your prayers is take them and shove them up your ass."

Fantastic response. I vote it the best single blog of the year. Well-done, Kingfish!

Anonymous said...

But you are an anonymous nobody 4:57 PM so nobody really gives a hoot.

Anonymous said...

4:57-
I second that vote! Hoot!

Anonymous said...

Lacy is STILL GDB! Saw her today!

Anonymous said...

Crew over there now taking off the roof.

Anonymous said...

The former NE Jackson Swingers Club charter members:

http://www.mississippifamilylawblog.com/Ware%20v.%20Ware.pdf



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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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