Jackson Jambalaya

I'm going to kill my neighbors. They live directly below me. My bed is directly over their tv. Normally it would not be an issue as most people are in bed by 11 or so, get up, go to work at seven in the morning, then come home and do the whole routine all over again. Did I mention they manage a bar?

You got it. That means winding down for them is after midnight and if the TV is cranked up, I hear it loud and clear, including the commercials. Last night I was worn out so for once I thought I would try to get some sleep and was in bed well before midnight. Just happened to be their night off so I'm in the clear, right? Wrong. I heard that damn tv as if it were in my room until 2:30 in the morning. I remember one time they pulled this and the tv didn't go off until nearly 5:00 AM.

I've been nice. I really do like them and other than this, they are great neighbors. Couldn't be any nicer. However, right now I'm homicidal as I've had no sleep and am contemplating ways to fix this problem. I've very nicely mentioned the problem to them but here I am this morning after 2:00, reading to begin target practice at close range. What do you recommend?

Calling Entergy and saying they are moving comes to mind but damn, don't know their SSN (nor do I want to. ;-) ). Firebombing, if I used a small enough explosive, is an attractive option right now. If our local panhandler with a prior conviction for burglary was not back in jail, I could pay him some big macs and mad dog 20/20 to swipe the tv. Or I could get one of those sirens or whistles that only dogs can hear (they have a huge dog) and wait until 4:00 AM to start using it. Inviting the old Houserockers or King Edward and his band over to my place for a mid week early morning practice session that will be very loud and real heavy on the percussion and bass might be worth considering. There is always the possibility of cutting their power lines but dumbass here would probably cut the ones to his own place so that is out. Paying the Kappa Sigs at Millsaps to have their swap night or mid-week keg party over here as long as they want to (good thing I'm insured) is a another idea. Wait, just thought of something. I can make sure Frank heard they made threats against him. He'll show up at four in the morning with his posse, shotgun pointed at the ground (with mud in the barrel), to relive his favorite experience as a mayor. Then there is the good ole reliable method of taking out the TV with sniper fire. Wait, I think I know. I will tell the Ridgeland PD they were drinking at Shuckers. That should do it.

What is a jackass to do?